Art of Manliness - Latest Comments in Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

AnnElisse — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:55:03 -0000

You could say the same thing about a city or metro area, although its fashionable to bash the burbs. Thank God there's more to being a man than just mixing it up with nature, right? There is refinement, education, spiritual formation, manners. To paraphrase Mr. Darcy: "Every savage can camp."

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

senatorrosewater — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 22:19:04 -0000

if you liked this article, you'd like Babbit by Sinclair Lewis.

I won't give away the ending, but will say that it fits with this theme.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Adam — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 15:48:28 -0000

Funny me and my pal were just talking about how the surburben life sucks, and how men needs danger and risks in life.. must be destiny..!

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

natural ponds — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 22:26:41 -0000

A man's soul shall rot in a cradle of safety.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Chip Bell — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:34:30 -0000

I compleatly understand about challenging your self etc and not geting soft of leting fear rule you or what ever. What I don't understand is why any one would want to link it to that "manhood" crap All that has done is but our genitals above our minds I know plenty of women who can do all this stuff. I won't even date a girl if she's not a feminist lest I wind up with some sissy "girly girl" who want's her daddy to protect her. There is NOTHING special about being male. It's the mind that counts being sentient able to think. Maleness is a mere accident of birth.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Sunnyday — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 21:34:37 -0000

Hi there. Very insightful post here.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

EcoAussie — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 21:56:28 -0000

Really enjoyed that...my next house will be on water with lots of land.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

MikeonTV — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:32:23 -0000

Having grown up in the Suburbs I can say that I am damn happy I will never again be in the mentality of feeling I should live there again!`

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Aaron — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 04:43:31 -0000

so true, we dont have burbs as such over here(nz) but it is getting that way, you tell someone that your off to the hills for a week instead of going to the pub most people have no clue on what your talking about.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Brett — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 12:24:20 -0000

@Anonymouse-

Thanks for the clarification. I get what you're saying now.

As far as our "peak" goes, I'd just like to point out that the pull-ups post was posted only 2 weeks ago. So it's a little premature I'd say to think that in the last 2 weeks we've suddenly fallen off the wagon. Like any publication, some weeks will be enjoyed by some readers more than others.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Anonumouse — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 03:57:12 -0000

@Brett - I was defending the suburbs against those, like Mr. Goetz and this article's author, who say they are safe and controlled. My pedestrian advice was intended as a riposte. Perhaps I should have enumerated which myths about suburbia I was concerned about.

As for this blog's peak, I would say it was the article about soda. I also enjoyed the articles about pocket squares and pull-ups. I'm currently reading a biography of Teddy Roosevelt, as also mentioned on this blog.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Ken — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:37:18 -0000

We all hear a lot of suburb-bashing from those who would like to cram us all back into the the squalid urban wastelands from which we escaped (I exaggerate for effect). Keep in mind that the growth of suburbs is a direct consequence of the crime, high taxes, corrupt government and failed educational systems of our urban centers. People escape when they can, because they can, and want something better.

That said, I agree with the author's point about the manhood-numbing effect of a life without challenges. At the age of 40 I felt like life was beginning to pass me by. It had all become too safe, too dull and too easy. So I decided to do something about it. First I did bike rides across Kansas and Missouri. Then with the encouragement of a supportive girlfriend (now my wife), I decided to pursue my childhood dream of getting my pilot's license. I also decided to marry said girlfriend and start my own business. No guarantee of success in any of those ventures, but I'm a lot more challenged and happy than I ever was before I stopped playing it safe.

Risk! It's what being a man is all about.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Cameron Schaefer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:56:42 -0000

@ Lee,

It was a joke as in "haha"...guess you didn't think it was that funny.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Brett — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:52:37 -0000

@Anonymouse-

From your incoherent comment I honestly can't tell if you like the suburbs or hate them. At any rate, I don't think you understand the point of the post.

As far as jumping the shark...if that's the case, when would you say we had our glorious peak? Do enlighten me.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Anonymouse — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:49:40 -0000

Wow, this site has really jumped the shark. First, an environmentalist chick defines manhood. Now we have urbanist vitirol.

Mr. Goetz is from my suburb! A nearby metropolitan newspaper gleefully interviewed him to make the point that suburbanities are subhuman. I sent him an email and my advice to him is the same to those of you who buy into the myths about suburbia... Simply get rid of your car (and all motorized vehicles).

The suburbs are too safe? Try crossing multi-lane roads, even at the designated pedestrian crossings. Need a manly challenge? Try carrying your groceries a mile or two from the store in inclement weather.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

ChrisB — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:52:15 -0000

Just one quibble: Nowhere is completely safe. My suburb is one of the safest places in the country; we had four home invasion-robberies last year. The burbs may be safer than the inner city, but the hoods have figured out that the money is in the burbs.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Lee — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 22:30:05 -0000

You are what you do.
You are not where you live.

If you define yourself in terms of the length of your coffee order, and you define your manliness as a function of your domination of some barista, I have news for you:

You are doing it wrong.

I don't care how many Alaskan pony-mosquitoes you killed.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Gary — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:45:45 -0000

"The suburbs convince us that the pinnacle of life consists of comfort, safety, and control. And the man that finally succumbs to this deadly logic is a miserable creature forced to live off the exhilaration of other men’s feats."

This is why weekend sports sports is so popular. Men park themselves in front of the TV and get their blood pumping watching other men do things.

George Carlin had a good line about that. He said, "You always see fans after a game shouting, 'We won! We won!'. No, they won. You watched."

Wozza, Brett, and Schaefer, you are right on the money. Don't just watch other people play, go out and do something.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Paul — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 12:45:33 -0000

The key element of your thesis (with which I substantially agree), lies, it seems, in the fact that suburbs do not represent the homeowner's control, but rather the planner's. It's a pre-existing controlled environment into which households are introduced without altering their surroundings. You can't control how your shrubs look because they were there when you bought the house and the neighborhood association has to approve landscaping alterations. All the control (or at least a great deal of it on a visual level) has already been exercised by outside parties. That, I think, is part of what kills me about most suburban areas: the visual uniformity.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Guest — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:52:24 -0000

This was an excellent piece. I think one notable reason why the suburban lifestyle (in general) is unmanly, is that it is selfish. It is finding a safe place, surrounding yourself with things that give you pleasure, and saying "To hell with everyone else." That selfishness is largely where the inner dissatisfaction comes from, I think.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Rodney Hampton — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:52:23 -0000

I don't enjoy living in the suburbs anymore. I call it the tyranny of suburbia. Every Saturday morning, the lawn mowing starts. It continues through Sunday night. Too often the police shake down people for minor infractions. I understand law and order, but this place is ridiculous. All I want to do is earn enough money to get some land, raise some animals and some food, and keep other people the hell away from me and my family.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

schaefer — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:26:24 -0000

@ Wozza,

You're right on the money, sports are incredibly effective at getting us out of our comfort zones, especially more physical ones as Brett mentioned. You sound just like my father-in-law, haha! He is a South African and a huge Springbok fan. You Aussies, SA and New Zealand have some great rugby teams!

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Brett — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:12:05 -0000

@Wozza-

Great idea. I played football in high school and still miss it. Sports, especially contact sports, make you feel alive.

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

wozza — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:09:18 -0000

I think sport is great for this, especially contact sport. We have a league for the 40 and over age group in Australian Football. For other countries, there is over-age competition in soccer or rugby union. I recommend it highly

Re: Are the Suburbs Killing Your Manhood?

Jaye Sunsurn — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 18:18:40 -0000

Suburbia is pretty tighly controlled, however you can't just accept the occasional 'scheduled' breaks where you go off to alaska or work at the shelter, sometimes you have to actually willfully shake things up inject some chaos into your life and be aware that safety is stagnation, that something can happen that changes everything. Accept this understand this and in some respects be prepared for it, by doing more than just your nice scheduled little forays into uncertainty, but actually doing something unexpected and out of character... maybe right off the rocker, but important to you, to understand who you are and hopefully make you a stronger person.