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I've fortunately always had good taste in clothing and work with what will fit in what ever situation I land in. I hope this helps some of the younger men that read this.
Though I'm a little distraught that the tailored suit people don't have the option for a 3 piece suit or double breasted. Being a larger guy single breasted jackets look humorous on me rather than impressive. I'd much rather look like a 40s gangster than Lou Costello.
It's almost always better to dress one step "above" what you initially think you should wear to an affair.
This is much easier said than done. I can't tell you how many girls I have put off by trying to subtly suggest a more formal attire. Any advice in this regard?
It depends on your style of communication, and how well you know your lady, but I would, for example, let my date know what I'm planning to wear, and maybe even ask her for advice.
You could, for example, say something in the lines of: "Hey, I'm planning to wear [dark suit pants]. Do you think [a white shirt] would match?"
That wouldn't be rude at all to my mind, and most girls take it as a compliment when you ask for advice.
What amazes me most are the numbers of men who don't know how to dress for church. While casual is accepted, there are always a few men who go to church wearing shorts and tee shirts. Granted, I live in Florida, but going to church that casually dressed demonstrates a basic lack of respect for one's surroundings, for others there, and a primary lack of respect for himself. The inevitable result is a loss of respect from others; no one will take you seriously.
If men want to regain that basic masculine respect, he first has to show that respect himself.
My comment for the young is: you can get by with being a little less formal than the middle-aged or old, but not wildly less formal, as Adam notes.
Great post.
Gordon
I only had one problem with it and that was for a first date. I am sorry but I will not get that dressed up for a first date. This is my chance to see what type of person she is as well as for her to have a feeling about me. Sure, I am going to put on some decent jeans(if winter/shorts if summer and in Houston you respect the summer heat) and a nice wrinkle free shirt(there is a life beyond polo and the generic button down long sleeve). We are going to be nervous enough as is when we meet and I go out of my way to have her as relaxed as possible in as relaxed an atmosphere as possible. I am there to get to know her and I want nothing to interfere with this most important part. This idea of constantly wooing a woman high up on her pedestal needs to die. We are men, we know what we want, and we want a strong woman to compliment us.
Kinda goes with the guy that shows up at a relaxed waterfront beer joint, in a jacket. Sorry, you are a tool, you are not a gentleman or sophisticated. Dress for your environment, you look as out of place and disrespectful as the guy showing up to the theater in shorts and a wife beater.
Men need to dress like men again. I would put things up a step
1. Formal- should be white tie. White tie needs a come back, it is the ultimate in class and it serves a very strong purpose. For formal events, Men should be dressed a like in order to highlight the woman he has as his date. So bring out the white tie, and by all means, military men should wear their decorations as appropriate.
2. Semi-formal- Black tie, and I am particular about this. The pics shown for this feature showed notched lapels. A properly cut tuxedo ALWAYS has either shawl or peaked lapels. This differentiates formal wear from business wear.
3. Day v. Night. The tuxedo dinner jackets and white tie tailcoats should only be worn after 6pm. (5pm. at the earliest). During the daytime, the daywear equivalent should be worn. For formal, it is the cutaway morning coat with either matching or contrasting slacks, a grey or black vest, and either a tie or ascot. For black tie equivalent, wear the stroller, which is a black suit jacket (cut with peak lapels either 1 or 2 button) a matching or contrasting vest (black or grey), and grey pin striped formal pants. It is essentially morning dress with a suit coat instead of a morning coat.
4. Weddings- Day weddings whould be day wear. Evening weddings should be evening wear. If the ceremony is during the day, and the reception is at night, by all means CHANGE CLOTHES. There is a reason why there is usually a 3 hour break of time between the ceremony and the reception.
5. Black tie optional- If you do not own a tuxedo, a black suit with a black tie(but not solid black, you'll look like you're at a funeral) is exceptable. That said, a decent tuxedo is not that expensive anymore. You can get a good cut for about $150, which anyone can afford even in this economy.
Great post.
Gordon"
I did have to break this rule once. When my best friend died 2 years ago, I wore HIS red necktie that he let me borrow for a date (with my future wife) that I never returned. I used it as an icebreaker when delivering part of the eulogy.
As for the article at hand, this deos speak to more conservative and formal dress, of which I am a fan. As the world seems to get more casual, I am beginning to dress more formally for meeting and events that I have. Work especially. It is Friday, so I am dressed down, but I am beginning to wear more sport coast and neckties to project an air of professionalism.
Also, I find that dressing nicer helps in my own work ethic and self-confidence, which is projected onto others as well.
FWIW, I always take the option and wear my tux, but I'm usually in the minority. Except for the waiters :-(
I wore a white shirts and necktie that matched my school colors both for my HS and College graduation. Many of my peers wore nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, some shorts underneath.
My father, adverse to dressing up, wore a suit. My grandfather had a suit on of course.
It's probably one of two things: (1) the way you're saying is putting her off or (2) she's not someone with whom you want to be anyway.
One point on a first date - I would imagine this is catered towards the traditional dinner date. I prefer activity-based first dates (hiking, sports activities, taking a walk in a park...) over dinner dates. One would look pretty silly hiking in a suit. Again, it comes down to dressing appropriately given the situation.
The last time I wore it was last week, to my grandma's funeral, where I had a sombre black tie, tied in a full Windsor knot, and black shirt to compliment. Not a fun time, but at least I was dressed well.
I plan on wearing it again this Sunday, to my baby niece's baptism. Just haven't decided on what shirt or tie to wear yet.
Thanks,
Art Gonzalez
Quantum Knights
What's correct?
Michael – You’re probably right; I’ve been out of the dating scene for some time now. But from what I remember the girls I dated always enjoyed dressing up a bit.
Johnny – This gap is real and we are working hard to fix it!
Adam – Sadly, I have seen the same thing.
Will – Absolutely right about the first date advice, it does depend on the situation.
Lee – Respect your opinion and see your point of view, but still feel if you can you want to dress your best for your date. Whether she knows it or not, she is making a decision about you very quickly; her early take on you will determine how the rest of the night goes. As for jackets; they are not all created equally. Go with a sporty pattern, casual style, and pair with jeans for a perfectly fine look.
James – Thanks for the additional info, and agree with the peak lapels on the Tux.
Ryan – You are correct, it is geared towards the dinner date. And unless a man’s name is Daniel Craig I would advice against wearing dress clothing when engaging in vigorous activities.
Frdindenver – Good eye, the gentleman in the photo should not have his bottom button buttoned. On a two-button jacket, only button the top. On a three-button jacket, only the top two should ever be buttoned, with the top button optional for a more casual look.
Best,
Antonio
You used a really lousy picture for the tux. Never EVER should a tux have a notched collar. Those are reserved for suits and sportcoats. Traditionally, a tuxedo has either a peaked or shawl collar. I prefer a shawl collar myself, but both look great.
Hope I was a help!
Yeah, I know, we can date casually and all. just go out for coffee and talk with someone. But, let me tell you, i am not changing into nice clothes for coffee and the economy. What's that? I should always look nice. Well guess what? I fart, and i stink after working out, and i am a real human with hair and flab. I'm too tired and to get all gussied up for everyone i meet all the time. And if she can't realise that, well guess what, it wouldn't have gone anywhere to begun with, because honesty in all things starts with the first cough and bump in the hall.
Sorry, late night and all. but honestly, the more ways I have to communicate, or IM, or message, the less talking I seem to do. Good Lord knows I need someone.
The biggest problem with that point of view is that it necessarily limits, possibly even eliminates, the chances of getting that someone you need. Nobody is going to want someone who isn't willing to take the time to put on an air of presentability. If you're not going to get "gussied up" for everyone you meet all the time, you're likely not going to meet anybody.
Appearance is the first thing people notice, before that cough and bump in the hall. Everyone farts, and everyone stinks after working out. Did you really think you were the only one? Why sell yourself short to serve some misguided view of honesty? Because, that's exactly what you're doing. You're selling yourself short.
some people and areas are just laid back and dont care how people dress.
i know for my funeral if someone shows up in a tie im gonna haunt them hahaha
Someone made a point about dressing like yourself and being yourself on the first date. If that's what you want to do, that fine... If being yourself is more important to you than tradition then you should do that. But I think the advice on this page is obviously intended for those who would like to look the part of a gentleman (hopefully as well as *being* one)
Tradition dictates that the first (dinner) date be snazzy and dressed up. Women tend to appreciate this as it lets them know you were interested enough to make the effort. They want to know they are a big deal! Secondly, it also shows that you know how to dress, which helps to show a well-rounded and knowledgeable character. It is not easy for most of us to learn how to match a jacket, shirt, slacks, shoes, and tie. Thirdly it also gives them a chance to dress up as well and live out there girlish fantasies. Most girls adore the opportunity to dress up from time to time. Finally, it will help to make the evening more memorable, important and special for both parties. So not only is dressing up for a first date a tradition (depending on the context), it is also sensible.