Art of Manliness - Latest Comments

Re: How to Develop the Situational Awareness of Jason Bourne | The Art of Manliness

MrJP — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 07:23:43 -0000

Most of these tips are good tips if you want to be more like Jason Bourne and be better at spotting danger and avoiding it. From an academic perspective, however, the concept of situation awareness is nowadays mostly seen as a folk model.

There are a number of problems with situational awareness, especially when trying to judge behaviour of individuals. First of all no one is aware of the full situation, there are always details one will not know. This means there is no such thing as having situational awareness or losing it, at best you can be aware of more or less of your situation. Whether you were aware of enough, or the right things can only be known in hindsight.
A problem with Endsley´s model is that it assumes people observe small details, construct this to a whole and then predict into the future. However a mind does not work this way, we do not see thousand of dots and combine these into a tree. There is quite some data that supports that people actually perceive in whole shapes. Our ´orientation´, or ´image´ of the situation heavily influences what we perceive. For more detailed critiques on situation awareness I suggest Dekker´s chapter in safety differently. A more accepted academic theory for how people perceive their situation is sensemaking by Gary Klein.

A down side of being more cautious of your surroundings might be that you feel more paranoid and have a harder time relaxing. Your behaviour affects how you feel, just as how you feel affects your behaviour.

Re: Be a Time Wizard: How to Slow Down and Speed Up Time | The Art of Manliness

Dave Hooper — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 06:48:44 -0000

The book "Super-Learning" by Sheila Ostrander and Lynn Schroeder talks about a way to apparently slow down time so that you can go into possibly matrix time. I tried it for a bit, but never got it to work for me.

Re: अश्लील (आणि संबंध) सह समस्या | Manliness कला

Been there before — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 03:47:12 -0000

You do realize that in the 70s porn was shown at movie theaters right? Like you could go and see the latest x rated movie at your local AMC.

Americans attitudes toward porn are generally shaped by the culture at the time. In the late 70s it was all about disco and drugs and porn was ok. Then came the conservative revolution of the 80s (thanks Reagan) and the resurgence of the Christian Right who aligned themselves with anti-porn feminists and porn went underground again.

The explosion of Internet porn in the early 2000s went under the radar until people started talking about it being the most popular online activity. The view of porn is becoming more favorable again. Considering most of the mindless, low class reality TV trash that Americans are watching today, you can get why porn isn't seen as that bad anymore.

Re: How to Break Up With Someone | The Art of Manliness

Although... — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 02:31:15 -0000

On the other hand.
If things have seemed a bit unusual. You've asked if everything is ok and haven't been given any real answers. Then a friend of hers surprisingly shows you email evidence that she started dating and is only living in your place to "...lie low until she starts her new job and can afford her own place".

Then texting her to come and get her things off the driveway is more than sufficient.

Re: 14 Red Flags to Look Out for in a Relationship

OlderWiser — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 02:01:14 -0000

A key to avoiding these troubles is give your mate/buddy permission to tell it to you straight and uncensored if he has reservations about your new girl. And I'm talking about the best mate that's been around the block himself, has your back AND has his head screwed on.

I had a situation with a crazy that was not a good a good experience. I should have ended it much sooner instead of giving her the benefit of the doubt. After-the-fact two of my mates said they new she was dishonest/manipulative. Everyone's an expert after the fact, but both of them could specifically tell me the specific behaviours that alerted them and when it happened.

When asked each of them why they didn't speak up at the time, they both said things along the lines of, "You seemed to really like the chick and it was good to see you so happy" etc...

I could have dodged a lot drama if I'd heard their reservations early on.
Would I have listened to them at the time?? Almost certainly not.
I thought she was great. BUT there's a good chance I would have cut her loose a lot sooner. The little crazy incidents and suspicious behaviours would have been more noticeable if my mate's (very accurate) observations were ringing around in my head at the time.

I'll add a couple more red flags:
* Fairly closed about her past.
* She chops and changes jobs/houses a LOT - cuts and runs to the next best thing all the time.
* Talks trash about her friends behind their back... I know it's an obvious one but worth mentioning.
* She kind of defines people in terms of how 'useful' they are to know.

Re: 14 Red Flags to Look Out for in a Relationship

Raito Yagami — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 02:01:04 -0000

I am sadly a lot of these, but I'm really working on it. I hope he doesn't get impatient and leave me. I wouldn't really blame him, though... :/

Re: 45 Aficiones Mujeres | El arte de la masculinidad

jplummer — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 01:02:07 -0000

Piano (esp. jazz)? Hiking? Machining? Sailing? Rowing? Knots, lashings, and splices? Volunteering?

Re: How to Start and Host a Regular Poker Night | The Art of Manliness

mojorisin86 — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 23:36:38 -0000

I had planned a poker night this month but cancelled. I invited too many people (expecting lots of maybes and no's) and ended up getting lots of people saying they were coming. I think I counted that the total could have been around 15 - which would have been crazy with my pregnant wife and baby upstairs. All of these guys still want to play, I would say they are from four separate groups of friends; a) my baseball friend (who I've been playing with 10+ years) b) lifelong friends c) college baseball buddies (I don't get to see often) and d) newer friends I don't get to socialize with much. I don't want to have 4 different poker nights and that's besides the fact that each group does not have 8 guys willing to come individually. How do I cut down the guests without offending?

Re: How to Start and Host a Regular Poker Night | The Art of Manliness

Satchmo — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 23:28:31 -0000

One question that comes up is if women are allowed to play. One of my B-school friends has a regular game with his undergrad friends where one of the wives plays. My other game has a strict no-women rule. The wives have their own game night.

Re: How to Start and Host a Regular Poker Night | The Art of Manliness

Luke Jalbert — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 23:20:10 -0000

Please please please use the standard values for chips.

White $1
Red $5
Green $25
Black $100

This way if a new guy shows up he has a decent chance of already being familiar with it, and it will save you when you go to play in a casino for the first time to already recognize the colors

Re: 14 Red Flags to Look Out for in a Relationship

Phil Airborn — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 23:19:32 -0000

This is gonna sound really stupid.

What if you've been together so long (5 years+) that it is difficult to tell where your problems end and hers begin?

Would you suggest a week break or something?

We've formed a life together, we have children, and she is wonderful. I just don't know.

Re: 14 Red Flags to Look Out for in a Relationship

Chris Fernando — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 22:59:45 -0000

What gets me is that why would a guy be with a person like her in the first place?

Re: On the 70th Anniversary of VJ Day, Eugene B. Sledge Puts Your First World Problems Into Perspective | The Art of Manliness

Steven Scott — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 22:23:41 -0000

To be fair, it's worth noting that if nobody complains, nothing changes. It was "whiny" factory workers who got us our 40-hour week and decent wages, "ungrateful" abolitionists who got our black friends out of the cotton fields, and "unpatriotic" men like Dr. Sledge who spread the word that war kind of sucks and should be avoided if possible. The men we record in the history books are not those who suffered bravely in silence, but those who made their complaints known so they could get improvements made.

Re: Ako Ak chcete mať politickú diskusiu Civil | Umenie mužnosti

Jay Howard — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 22:11:06 -0000

another thing i've found, and this is more from my experience as a former christian, atheist, and now agnostic, is don't assault them with quotes from your side, an atheist isn't going to be convinced by quoting the bible, and a christian won't be swayed at all by reciting the words of "the prophet dawkins" you have to relate YOUR beliefs in a language THEY can understand.

Re: How to Start and Host a Regular Poker Night | The Art of Manliness

Kevin — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 21:14:45 -0000

For years I have played in a weekly Saturday night game that was actually started by my grandfather in the 70's. I remember as a young lad being the gopher for drinks and snacks. It starts around 6:30 and always ends at midnight. Everyone has their can of pocket change and the stakes never get above a couple dollars a hand. This prevents any ill will towards others after a bad run of luck. There is usually a core of 4 guys who are always there and another 7-8 who are in and out as they are available on different weeks. It was (and still is) dealers choice which means the dealer calls the game. Texas Hold'em which this article is assuming is the game is NEVER played. It is too easy for a guy to bust out early and get distraught and go home. We always want guys to feel like they are enjoying themselves even if they are losing. There are also not a lot of "wild" cards thrown in. I have found that the crazier the games get the less skill is involved and it just becomes a free for all. All in all, just don't over think it. House rules will develop over time out of normal situations. Talk it out and vote on a solution. It is not about the game as much as it is about hanging out.

Re: Preventing Swamp Crotch: 10 Products "Scientifically" Tested

tiMMy O'toul — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 19:41:20 -0000

http://www.amazon.com/Gold-...

THE END!

Re: Guide to Public Speaking | The Art of Manliness

Hugh Culver — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 19:39:28 -0000

Brilliant piece - this is worth a reread by anyone who calls themselves a speaker.

Re: Podcast #126: Christianity, Masculinity, and Manly Maxims With Stephen Mansfield | The Art of Manliness

Beard — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 19:33:13 -0000

Brett,

Very interesting and informative podcast. While I might not agree with every idea Mr. Mansfield has concerning Christ-centered manhood, I would like to give his book a read.

However, it seems like both you and Mr. Mansfield skirt around what I think is one of the most important parts of manhood--mentorship. I feel that Mansfield's third Manly Maxim mentioned here, "manly men build manly men," points towards mentorship without explicitly going there. Maybe he goes into more detail on it in his book. Again, I'll have to give it a read.

I firmly believe that mentoring one or several younger men is one of the best ways to exercise manhood, and being mentored by an older, wiser man is just as important. It's a profound relationship for all parties involved.

I think your article from 2009 about mentorship wonderfully expands on this idea more, and I think that mentorship is one of the most important keys to being more intentional and fixing the problem of de-masculinization in the Church.

Re: Get 1% Better Every Day: The Kaizen Way to Self-Improvement | The Art of Manliness

Hugh Culver — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 19:21:38 -0000

Nice one - this is such an important message. I appreciate that you didn't just repeat old advice but built an intelligent argument to help get us going.

Re: How to Start and Host a Regular Poker Night | The Art of Manliness

Johnny Lionseed — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 19:13:15 -0000

Love this. Its always good to have a great group of friends, and this is a good way to keep in touch. My friends and I smoke pipes and cigars together, but conversation slows inevitably - a poker game is a good way to keep it going. I can't believe I never thought of this.

Re: Develop a Strong He-Man Voice by Using the Voice Nature Gave You

Ayur Sandanov — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 19:05:26 -0000

A tip: clear enunciation helps GREATLY with the apparent power or assertiveness of your voice - it isn't only for news anchors and ad narrators. The easiest and greatest tip I received for enunciation was from my voice training as a TV journalist in university. It's very simple: you just open your damn mouth more than you're used to. Work that lazy jaw!

Easy to train, too: just talk for a while - using the tips in this article, which I've also been taught to do - and every time a vowel comes that requires you to open your mouth, FREEZE IT! Just stop your mouth when you say it. Then, check how wide the gap between your teeth is. If TWO of your own fingers fit in your face-hole, you're golden. Now just keep talking, and check that gap on every vowel. You will find that even saying "eee" - a vowel that naturally has your jaw opening less wide - you can fit at least one finger between your teeth.

You will notice that you sound way more intelligible and "TV anchor-like". It also forces you to enunciate everything else more clearly. Of course, you don't have to open so wide for everyday speech, but this training really sticks! You get used to working your jaw harder, opening a bit wider, and you start sounding much more authoritative and concise, because a) we associate good speech with intelligent and assertive people and b) everyone can freaking understand what you're saying from the first try.

That's also why even skilled voice actors and orators exercise their face and jaw muscles before speaking to the audience. If your face and jaw mucles are in good tone (warmed-up, full of blood, and flexible), you automatically enunciate more clearly - with a bonus feature of providing more natural avenue for correct resonance in your throat, oral/nasal cavities and skull. So we were taught to massage, stretch and "work out" our face, tongue and jaw before doing speech exercises. That's also why actors do "lion roar" and funny faces before a take - it's the same as stretching before a tennis game. Here's a few stretch-outs:

Stretching: Stick your tongue far out, push your cheeks hard with it, run it all the way around the front of your teeth. Make the widest "scream-face" you can do. Repeatedly make an exaggerated closed-mouth grin and then pout your lips forward as far as they go. Move your pout in a circle (both directions) with your jaws firmly closed.

Massage: While humming, quickly and repeatedly tap your upper&lower lips with 8 fingers, then cheeks, below the jaw, cheekbones, nose. To completely clear your nose (and warm it up) do this: close one nostril firmly with a finger; then start humming in your nose, and tap on the other nostril firmly, closing it up repeatedly; also you can close both nostrils and massage vigorously while also humming through the nose, so that they become open for brief moments. That last trick helps even if you have a cold and your nose is congested!

Re: Book Giveaway: The Swordless Samurai by Tim Clark | The Art of Manliness

Shawn Parker — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 18:46:33 -0000

I believe when using negotiation instead of physical force it's all about validating the other person's feelings and maintaining non-verbal communication and tone of voice in a neutral state. Validating someone's feelings about a situation can be very disarming in itself, preventing an escalation. This will provide you with the opportunity to problem solve instead of having the situation turn into a power struggle creating defensive or aggressive reactions. In many cases, I may not be able to actually solve your problem so a "win-win" would be to get through the interaction without physical confrontation and with the other person feeling heard and understood so they can go about solving their own problem with a clearer mind that isn't clouded by intense emotions.

Re: Get 1% Better Every Day: The Kaizen Way to Self-Improvement | The Art of Manliness

Henz — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 17:25:22 -0000

I find this fascinating and extremely helpful. I think I have somewhat done this naturally in certain areas and tried to make one big failure of a change in others. My problem now is, I feel ok about all areas of my life, so I think I need to pinpoint one specific area to improve.Just because I feel ok about my life currently doesn't mean Im satisfied, just means I'm not living in Chaos and constant emergency.

Re: Preventing Swamp Crotch: 10 Products "Scientifically" Tested

Fred — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 17:18:50 -0000

I use this product also. I am also male and this stuff works great.
http://www.monistat.com/vag...
The pharmacist hooked me up with this.

Re: On the 70th Anniversary of VJ Day, Eugene B. Sledge Puts Your First World Problems Into Perspective | The Art of Manliness

Dave — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 17:05:45 -0000

Well said. Roosevelt was also awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for his role in brokering an end to the Russo-Japanese War. Also, one of his sons was killed in WWI, and that greatly affected him in his later years. I consider TR to be a person who did and experienced a lot, and of course he changed over time through his experiences. That shows him to be an active, life-long learner. Many seem to fail at that.