Art of Manliness - Latest Comments in Lessons From Our Fathers

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Colin H Tomlinson — Fri, 24 May 2013 06:29:14 -0000

If you're away on business, send a picture postcard to your kids, even if it will arrive after you return.

Children rarely receive post - even less so nowadays - usually only on their birthdays, with Christmas cards generally being addressed to the entire family, so this is a real treat.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Ernie — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 12:12:04 -0000

I used to get bullied by some kids in the neighborhood and I asked my dad to teach me to fight. He told me that I already know how to, it will happen when you learn to not be afraid. Eventually I did fight and me and those two boys are good friends. Dad tricked me in to finding the hidden lesson of what courage and confidence can bring.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Hunter — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 00:32:45 -0000

Mine died of cancer 4 years ago, i was 12. Hard age, he wasn't around a whole lot when i was little. My parents got back together when i was ten. I barely got to really know him when he died. He wrote me a death letter to be opened after he was buried. It had every life lesson a guy could want. From only trusting certain people, to not letting people walk over you. It changed my life. I started standing up for myself (I was the little scrawny kid that everyone picked on) so i started lifting weights, exercising, and learning how to defend myself, luckily i have never been in a fight, it just shocked everyone so badly that i stood up, they left me alone.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

tyler — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 05:50:24 -0000

this is one of the best posts i've ever read. thank you.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Wayne — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:58:53 -0000

Post Script: it was the ONLY thing he taught me.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Wayne — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 16:57:28 -0000

My dad taught me to NEVER abandon your family. He showed me how badly it hurts.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Adam_Y — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 07:19:29 -0000

My father – son, you should have more names than Satan, that way, when they come for you, you can say you are someone else.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Criffton — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 03:04:29 -0000

This is encouraging to those of us that don't really have a father figure. I have had several step-fathers, some better than others, but even the good ones weren't that wise, after reading through some of these stories. My father figures have been several clergymen and several authors, most notably G. K. Chesterton.

It hits hard to read some of these comments, and then also to realize that I missed many of the Father - Son learning experiences. There seems to be a class of men that have to figure it out mostly on their own.

Let's hope that the Father makes a comeback.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 22:02:30 -0000

"Don’t ever date a woman whose father called her princess."

I read that exact line in Esquire several years ago, except it followed up with this:

"Or whose father calls her 'butch'."

Either way, its solid advice.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Jon West — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:02:59 -0000

My father, Andy West, told me:

"You either continuously improve yourself or you atrophy."

Solid advice, I think.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Scott — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 13:15:36 -0000

I am blessed to have had two great male role models growing up. One was my own father, who did what ever he had to do to make ends meet and put food on our table - sometimes it wasn't easy. The other one was my late uncle, who was also like a father figure to me. Some other things they taught me - the importance of a good handshake (should be firm but not hard) and a good tie.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Wrathbone — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:57:59 -0000

It took a psychotic RDC in boot camp to truly define what my father gave me. During a particularly rough run, I was falling behind. My RDC, crazier than a sh*thouse rat, who actually knew my father since they were both active duty on the same base, screamed at me at the top of his lungs: "YOU CAN'T QUIT! THE WORD ISN'T IN YOUR FAMILY'S VOCABULARY!"

Truer words have never been spoken. Dad taught me never give up no matter what the odds, always be honest, and there is nothing more trivial in this world than wealth and material possessions. Honor myself, my family, and my home.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Mikhail — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 23:38:40 -0000

My father, a brutally honest, soviet-built man, will not rest until i become a proper man. I've discovered it takes a lot of patience, honesty, courage and reading of the literature discussed in one of the articles on this site.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

egranata — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 23:18:54 -0000

Great story, Andrew! My dad did stuff like that for years. Boot prints, green cloth stuck on the flu, bells on the roof...it was great and had me believing for probably too long.

Another time, as my and my siblings' 10th birthday approached, Dad planned and executed an elaborate chain of events over a period of a couple weeks that led to us digging what appeared to be an old chest containing a Civil War treasure (it was actually a bunch of polished stones and costume jewelry). The whole thing was put together with a lot of thought and planning. It was a great adventure.

Dad always did stuff like that to keep us entertained and full of wonder.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Antony — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:06:46 -0000

Hey Andrew- I'm glad you managed to make sure to note that you don't celebrate Christmas.

[edited by admin]

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Logan — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:03:09 -0000

Wow. Andrew Barbour, can't tell a story about your honorable father without talking about yourself. "Even though I don’t celebrate Christmas anymore." does that even have a place in this story?

Where do you live? I want to avoid the environment that destroyed your good genetics?

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Mark — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:01:00 -0000

I just want to say that all this is so touching... there is still so much good going on, despite how hopeless the world sometimes seems, how rotten some parts of society have gotten due to materialistic obsessions, neglect, and selfishness in many parents. But when I see this, I can tell there exist the necessary roots of responsibility and love in our society that are taking hold and can grow to bring about the change for the better. That's why sites like this popping up are a great sign of potential for much needed change.

I am very fortunate to be able to say that I've had an amazing dad that has taught me so much. His most important lessons would be his ability to work every day to support his family without complaint, and his dedication to the family despite countless difficulties. Basically, he embodies the death-to-self that is most noble in giving yourself to your wife, and dedicating yourself to your family. The man has done everything possible for my mom, and the family. And most incredibly, he doesn't seek credit! He's the definition of humility. He has done what he feels he's supposed to do, and doesn't feel any right nor need to brag.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Rand Soper — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 14:55:53 -0000

It was always very clear to us as kids that THE most important person in my fathers life was his wife. We all instinctively knew that if he could only save one person in a disaster, he would save our mother. How comforting it was to know that with all of my friends parents getting divorced and all of the trauma that brought to their lives, that my parents relationship was a rock, an anchor.

My kids know exactly how I feel about their mother. And I suspect that their children will know how they feel about their spouses when the time comes.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

lady brett — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 10:49:29 -0000

My Dad showed me that he's still a man (one of the very best i've known) when he cooks dinner for his family every day, and that i'm still his little girl when i build a house with him.

My Granddad taught me that family is about who you are and how you act (love, in a word). He's the only real granddad i've had even though i'm not related to him by blood.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

grapfx — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:26:30 -0000

Wow, I made the list! My dad passed away last November sucumbing to his fourth bought with pneumonia in the past five or so years. He beat cancer, survived a stroke and was on oxygen. He would still walk four blocks to the grocery store to get milk, eggs, coffee and lottery tickets almost every day lugging his oxygen tank with him. I just introduced The Three Stooges to my two year old son a few weeks ago, to break the monotony of never ending Thomas and Diego videos, and has taken a liking to Moe, Larry and especially Curly. He is already impersonating them. He fell down wrestling with our dog the other day and when Mom asked him if he was OK, he looked up at her and said, I'm a victim of circumstance!" We couldn't stop laughing!

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Max — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 09:05:54 -0000

Not from my own father, but Father Theodore Hesburgh:
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Bryan — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 03:15:48 -0000

I know it might be a little too late but I have something to add relevant to this post. It hadn't occurred to me until right now almost a week after I had posted it..That I wrote about my stepfather. Without realizing it. My father left my mother when I was three and I always regarded my stepfather as my father. I don't really think I'm saying anything but I had a revelation and I thought it was best to write it out.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

Bryan — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 03:11:31 -0000

Ahaha I'm glad to see I'm in the first few mentioned. I love what Deans Father said regarding what women to date.

Re: Lessons From Our Fathers

alex — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:29:25 -0000

I read this with interest, because some people don't get to grow up with a father to teach them about life. Great stuff.