Art of Manliness - Latest Comments in Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Friendly Surveillance Robot — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 18:43:30 -0000

2 and 3 though are directly linked to confidence and sometimes even respect.

Those with power, status, and cash tend to be confident both because it takes confidence to get there, and it breeds confidence to be there.

As for sociopaths, who is more confident than a sociopath secure in the knowledge that he can do anything and manipulate anyone without feeling a single thing?

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

dave — Sun, 20 Oct 2013 15:25:16 -0000

It looks like author, Melissa Kirk (Psychology Today) , says that women are losing out on GREAT guys who would never approach women ( fear, timidity or concern for rejection having NOTHING to do with it).In the end, consideration for others DOES have its value.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Rick — Sat, 21 Sep 2013 00:07:02 -0000

excellent advice...never be afraid or ashamed of who you are, if your a nice guy have confidence in that fact

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Jack — Wed, 24 Jul 2013 08:01:40 -0000

Thanks for sharing . I am amazed at how much confidence this info gave me .I should move on.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Vincent — Thu, 11 Jul 2013 18:07:47 -0000

I'm hopeless, I try and I'll just fail, again and again, and again. I cant even get anyone of the opposite gender to enjoy a simple conversation with me, let alone date. I guess I'll just have to stay single, keep all my earnings mine. Just me and my Rolls-Royce, with empty seats.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Jen — Wed, 03 Jul 2013 08:13:51 -0000

As a Woman... this is SOOO true... so guys you should definitely take this to heart!!!!!

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Cole — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 15:53:41 -0000

I recently wrote a letter to a young lady I am interested in, and at the end of the letter I told her how blessed I am to have met her and how special our friendship is to me. When I saw the part in this article about telling her that I couldn't help but laugh because it really does convey a sort of charm by telling the woman how nice it is to have her in your life.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Davis Nguyen — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 14:19:30 -0000

I would add two.

1. Having goals and accomplishing them- this can be connected to any of the ones mentioned on the list.

2. Add value - be the type of person people want to be around and learn from without being a pushover.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Priscilla — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 23:01:08 -0000

Oh. My. Word. I am a woman, and this is good stuff!!

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Athirson — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 16:30:53 -0000

Confidence? Respect???? You've gotta be kidding.

Women are attracted to three main categories of attributes:

1) Physical appearance. Which harks back to something you correctly pointed out, our primordial origins were such that she needed a man to hunt and protect the brood. Thus the affinity for big, beefy, dimwitted buffoons.

2) Power, status, and $. Much for the same reasons as #1, but adapted to modern society. Usually it is the brighter, more mature women who pick up on this, but the appeal of the guy with coin is universal.

3) Sociopaths. The more notorious, the better. Think serial killers and other similar scum like Charles Manson, who had his own harem of women. The appeal of these jokers is as inexplicable as it is undeniable.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Lisa.... — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 13:43:20 -0000

@Gabriel H.....................very well put. Yes, confidence and respect, for one another, is built from this forgotten art!

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Lina — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:05:29 -0000

1000% correct

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Gabriel H — Sat, 01 May 2010 14:21:55 -0000

@ MIriam- Thank you so much for pointing that out! In today's time it seems a shameful aspiration to be a stay-at-home mom; when in fact to me its one the biggest turn-ons ever. The fact that she's willing to stay at home and take care of it, me, and the kids doesn't say that she's any less capable of being the breadwinner; it simply shows a complete trust and reliance in me to take care of it. And that is a supreme confidence-builder for a man, enabling him to push hard in his work; which in turn brings in more confidence and respect from his woman. Its a beautiful picture of the life I hope to have one day.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Bergie — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:12:36 -0000

That works for some women... but then you get those of us who are the alpha nerd types, who do find the Star Wars things attractive... what then, my dear, what then? ;)

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Al — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 13:51:53 -0000

Nice article. :) I've had these One serious problem that I face is that all the girls I know seem to be attached to boyfriends in apparently 'serious' relationships, which is annoying because most of them are still in their late teens-early 20s. I don't want to lower my standards because I'm not that hard to please, but I would like to find SOMEONE at least who is attractive and single.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Renee — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:33:53 -0000

Hey Brett/Kate :)

I always love your articles. Just wanted to quote:

Too many men use their niceness as a cover for the fact that they’re in fact insecure. It’s this lack of confidence and swagger that kills their chances with the ladies, not their well-mannered ways. Men often set up a false dichotomy. You can either be an arrogant jack ass or a demure nice guy. But there is a middle a ground, the combination women are truly looking for: the extremely confident gentlemen.

I think this is such a fantastic point, and I agree with you mostly - I just thought I might add that although there is a middle ground, I think it is more about balance. If a man or woman is too much of one type of person, that'll get boring.

So - I think it's more about bringing out your different characters that suit differing situations. Some may think this is manipulative, but it's not; it just means you're adaptable, dynamic, interesting (providing variety to your spouse), and you can create rapport better, and ultimately, you're more of yourself.

Anyway, just my thoughts. :)

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Belladonna — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:01:43 -0000

Thank you, thank you, and thank you for this article. I've seen the deconstruction of Nice Guy Syndrome on a lot of feminist blogs I frequent (yes, a ladyist can love The Art of Manilness), but it's high time that the subject was brought up on a site with a large male readership. Again, I thank you.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Ashley — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 13:17:56 -0000

*not necessarily nice

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Ashley — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 13:17:25 -0000

under "be ambitious" women want to feel taken care of...scratch that....we NEED to feel taken care of. I love this! I've dated my share of self-proclaimed nice guys, and I like that finally men are exposing that these guys are necessarily nice-- just awkwardly insecure and inwardly hateful. I appreciate the positive words here on this site. I am a girl and I can't get enough!

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

manny — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:32:09 -0000

Wow!! this information is so useful and quiet comical. I love it! Thank you for posting this online. My father never taught me any 'man-skills', so through this website is AMAZING. truly. Thank you,

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Mike — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:42:35 -0000

Does Meatloaf count as grossly overweight...nah...but not a slender gent.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

john wong — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:38:45 -0000

The women in NYC constantly run (marathon training I guess). You should see how empty the city is of girls during any sort of race day. Probably because they get picked on at work or at the clubs women unconsciously have started to jog and/or run as a hobby as a reaction of being constantly a target. Take a hint men. Alot of manly hobbies at least require you to be in shape. Have you ever seen a grossly overweight rock star? Even he needs to show some dance moves on stage.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

brian — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:06:08 -0000

"girls like guys with skills"

just like to say that is one area where the more the merrier really applies. collect the status of expert on as many topics, skills, abilities, and talents as you can. being a really good guitar player, being able to hit bombs in baseball, drive a car like a european pro, and cook a steak like a master chef are all great quantifiable skills that women look for.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Jordan Hill — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 19:59:26 -0000

Thank you, the fourth paragraph is a life-saver for me! You might as well observed my life for two weeks and written that right to me! That section was so spot-on, I can never thank you enough. My relationship makes so much more sense now, I can't wait to see my girlfriend tomorrow and be manly!

Thank you.

Re: Nice Guys Don’t Have to Finish Last

Magnus Ver Magnuson — Mon, 04 May 2009 09:22:05 -0000

Hey,

Andrew M.,

Just by being on this site and asking questions of older men, some of whom have figured it out and some who are, you are light years beyond your peers. Changing an attitude is difficult. It's pretty impossible to not think something. Start by changing your behaviour. As has been said, start by finding good male friends ( not "guys", men), be good at something, spend more time focused on others rather than yourself (and how people are seeing you), you'll be fine. I wish I was wise enough to seek this kind of counsel when I was twenty!