DISQUS

Art of Manliness: The Man’s Guide to the Perfect Marriage Proposal

  • Alex · 1 year ago
    I strongly dis-agree with the V-Day proposal, i find it highly over rated and a cop-out just like doing it on new years eve or Christmas. I think the only holiday (if you must do it on a holiday) that is acceptable is Thanksgiving. Why you ask, well it is centered around family and what will you be doing with this women? That doesnt mean you have to ask in front of your family but maybe while taking a walk after dinner or before.
  • Marcel · 1 year ago
    I have to say the overnight proposal is probably the riskiest, though, really, all of these should only be attempted if you know she'll say yes in the first place.
  • Peter · 1 year ago
    Maybe some would find it strange, but I personally didn't make a formal proposal. About 2-3 months of dating, we started to mention in our conversations that we just should stay together the whole life...afterwards, sometimes my wife would refer to me as "my future husband". After some more months, we went to a local church office and applied for marriage (but I asked for parent's approval before that).
  • Justin · 1 year ago
    When my wife and I were dating, she mentioned that she'd like to be proposed to at a specific place. Unfortunately, she moved out of the state not long after. I followed her (intent on reeling her in and brining her back). She had a snowglobe with a model of the place she wanted the proposal. We went hiking one day, and without her knowing it, I hid the snowglobe in my backpack. As we were hiking, I secretly brought it out and placed it behind her, got down on one knee, and the rest is pretty standard.

    Whenever she tells it, she always cries.

    Needless to say, the best advice is make it memorable. Nobody wants to have a lame proposal story.
  • Chad · 1 year ago
    Note: You PROBABLY shouldn't use the "First Meeting Place Proposal" if you met your wife at a bar......


    Just for Clarification. =)
  • Will · 1 year ago
    I did the "natural" option. We hiked a peak, and I brought champagne and OJ in a thermos. I did get down on one knee -- with her holding me up so I wouldn't fall backward off the rocks!

    What I *didn't* do was hide the ring in anything. Besides the danger of her chipping a tooth on it (!), or me losing it...since it wasn't a heirloom, I wanted her to help pick out one she'd like. To my surprise, Emily Post and Miss Manners agreed: the proposal is about asking the question, and the ring can come later.

    Friend of mine proposed to his wife, a schoolteacher, by getting her class to hold up letters to spell out WILL YOU MARRY ME.
  • shortshire · 1 year ago
    Slipping the ring on the finger late at night and waking up to shrieks might scare her more than the simple marriage proposal. She might wake up and say "What happened to me last night? OMG OMG OMG!" Well that's how I would picture it if i did it that way.
  • Neil Cowley · 1 year ago
    Great article and the principles are surely key to fully winning a woman's heart - I mean she needs a story to brag to her girlfriends about. Special is everything!

    You can listen to couples tell their own stories on my site:
    http://makelovereal.net/category/multimedia/
    And look for a nice ping back to you here in a couple days!
  • matthew · 1 year ago
    I met me wife to be in my Sunday School class. It was my second week back after being away for a few years and her first time visiting the church after she moved to the area to attend school.

    We were courting 4 months later, and engaged just over a year after we met.

    After courting for 7 months, we were at a point of having to decide whether to get married this year or wait for her to finish school, 2-1/2 years distant.

    We chose this year and confirmed that on Valentines' Day, I asked her that day to marry me, but I did not have a ring, so we weren't really "engaged" and it was just a sweet time of quietly considering the future together.

    I purchased the ring from a jeweler who attends my church and had it within 2 weeks of Valentines' Day. He delivered it to me that Sunday and I was casting about in my mind how I might make this extra special. I was trying to decide whether to make it something special (downtown Chicago has many beautiful locations and vistas) or somewhere we'd be regularly and could remember fondly.

    She did not know I had the ring yet.

    I settled on frequent.

    She was attending school in Downtown Chicago, but I decided that it were better to do it somewhere we were close to emotionally.

    Which worked perfectly.

    I always open her doors for her, and so as we walked out to the nearly empty parking lot, and I opened her car door, she got in and sat down, reaching around to put her things in the back seat. I positioned myself down nearly on a knee (the ground was wet) and when she turned around I had the ring out and the question on my tongue.

    She was not expecting it then, by any means. It was a few feet from where we had first met and not much further from where we'd really got to know each other. And it was somewhere special to us.

    I had no idea I was doing it right. :)
  • Tom · 1 year ago
    I don't like how some guys these days are hiring a photographer or cameraman to sneak around and hide and then jump out during the proposal to tape the whole thing. Why must everything be recorded these days? To me, a proposal is something really intimate, and should be seared in your memory, not burned on a DVD.
  • Josh English · 1 year ago
    I am approaching seven years of marital bliss with my second wife. We have never fought, not while we were dating, not after I gave her a ring, and not once in these years have we fought. (We have disagreed, and that is a different issue.)
    How did I propose? I didn't.

    She was going to Germany for a month, and I wanted to give her something as a remembrance, so I bought a ring. I put it on her finger in the car.

    When she got back, we started pre-marriage counciling at our church and decided the ring was our engagement ring.

    The closest I came to actually proposing was after our weekly swing dance lesson, and I said "we should hire Brian (a friend of ours) to teach swing after the wedding."

    At some point, we both assumed we would get married. It was all a matter of scheduling.
  • Mabel · 1 year ago
    Personally, if it were me being proposed to, the overnight one would end badly. Even if I would say yes otherwise, being asked is a big part. It seems presumptuous that the man would place it on her finger without first asking her... if I woke up and found a ring on my finger I would actually be more angry than pleased.

    The rest of these are cute though.
  • Granata · 1 year ago
    My wife and I talked about getting married but she still wanted to be surprised and romanced at the proposal. Her parents lived in Kenya for a couple of years. After we had been dating for about as long, her and I visited for two weeks.

    The house was in Kisumu, right on Lake Victoria and the sunsets were unreal. There was a veranda on the second floor overlooking the lake. A few days before we were set to leave, her parents left the house for the evening. The Indian restaurant down the street brought a rad meal for us to eat at a set table on the veranda. By the time the sun was setting we had finished eating and so I got on my knee and asked.

    It was bad to the bone.
  • Westley Schomer · 1 year ago
    I just proposed two weeks ago. We went on a romantic picnic, but I conveniently forgot the drinks, so I ran back to the car. When I came back I had changed into some nicer clothes and was carrying a large bag. I kneeled down in front of her, and pulled out eleven roses,one at a time. With each rose, I gave a reason I loved her. Then I told her when the twelfth and final rose died, is when my love for her would cease. I pulled out a stainless steel rose that I had forged for her. Then I asked her to marry me. She said yes.
  • Lau · 1 year ago
    Westley that's awesome. "My love for you is made of STAINLESS STEEL, BABY!"
  • Brett · 1 year ago
    My wife loves stuffed animals, so I went to Build-A-Bear workshop and made a white bear with blue nose wearing a tuxedo. I then took the ring, in requisite black velvet box, and wire tied it to the bear's hand. I gave it to her as a Christmas present. The bear's name on it's birth certificate was "Merry Me Sunshine" (Sunshine being my nickname for my wife.) Her yes was immediate and passionate.
  • Brett · 1 year ago
    I should also mention, shortly after she said yes, we returned to Build-A-Bear and made a white teddy with pink nose wearing a wedding dress. My wife named her "Iwilla Mylove".
  • Brett McKay · 1 year ago
    I should note that the above Brett is not me. My proposal involved a play and a park, but no teddy bears.
  • J Marler · 1 year ago
    I had a very elaborate plan, with a small flaw, but it worked out regardless.

    First off, my wife's name is Monica. After Monica and I discussed getting married, and decided that when the time was right, we would get married. I asked her father and mother, who both approved wholeheartedly, and then I hatched a plan. I gave her a lilly (her favorite flower) and told her I would give her 12 lillies, and after the 12th, I would propose. I gave her a surprise lilly every few days/weeks or so until I got to 6. I decided it was taking too long, and wanted to surprise her with a proposal.

    We live in Austin, and the plan was this:

    * Dinner at Cheesecake Factory
    * Ice cream at Amy's Ice Cream
    * A stroll through the park nearby where she would "discover" a bouquet of six lillies, after which I would drop to a knee and propose.

    The flaw in the plan is that if you eat dinner at Cheesecake Factory, you don't go to Amy's for ice cream afterwords. You have dessert there. Duh! When Monica said she didn't want to go to Amy's, I had a small tinge of panic, and changed the plan. We went next door to Barnes & Nobles, and I called my friend Chris. The plan was to have Chris put the flowers out as we were buying the ice cream and then hide. I told Chris we had nixed the ice cream, and were at B&N about to head over. He said he would text me when the trap was set. We looked at some books, got the text, and we were off.

    I didn't realize at the time, but I was a bit eager, and practically dragged Monica to the spot where the flowers waited for us. Monica stopped to look at some other flowers, to which I said "How about these?" She saw the flowers, instantly knew what they meant, and started crying. I dropped to a knee, proposed, and she immediately said yes. Unbeknownst to us, we had an audience, who all cheered and clapped. Chris popped out from around a tree, yelled "Surprise!" and took our picture. When Chris dropped off the flowers, he told someone nearby "Some guy is about to appear with a woman and propose. These flowers are part of the proposal, so please don't disturb them." That's how we got the audience. The people nearby heard the message, and stuck around for the festivities.

    I wanted Monica to have a romantic story to tell people about our proposal that was original. The slight twist with the dessert made the whole scenario even more romantic, and she loves to tell the story whenever someone asks.
  • "Looking at Rings" · 1 year ago
    I go to pick up a ring this afternoon...
  • Gary · 1 year ago
    I had planned a hike up a local mountain for a picnic lunch and a proposal. However, the weekend before she was running a two day programming competition at the college where she teaches, and she came down with the flu. I was taking care of her, and had gone out to get her Chinese Penicillin (Hot and Sour Soup).

    We had been dating a couple of months when I decided she was the one, but she must have read my mind because she mentioned her 90-day rule. No major relationship decisions until after 90 days.

    Even though it wasn't quite ninety days, I couldn't stand it any more and asked if she'd marry me. She was completely shocked and said if I could propose while she looked like Death warmed over I must really love her, and she said yes.

    When I tell that story I usually add that I realized I'd never find her more physically or psychologically vulnerable. I wouldn't recommend such a short period of dating normally, but I was 50, she was 46. We know who we are and we had chemistry from the moment we met. We've been married for four years and each of us learned many lessons from our starter marriages. We've had moments of friction but no arguments. We've realized most marital arguments are to decide who's right. We take the approach of "How can we solve this problem to our mutual satisfaction?"

    It's made all the difference.
  • Jim · 1 year ago
    Disney World. Fireworks. Hot Chocolate.

    Write that down.
  • Nishantha · 1 year ago
    Be careful you might miss more and more opportunities.......
    ................................
    Nishantha
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  • John Lo · 1 year ago
    When I proposed to my lady-friend I took the 'nature' option. We went on a cross country hike and took the ring with me. We got to her favourite place, a little woodland village named Rivendell, and I pulled out the ring and proposed to her.

    Turns out though that the ring was the source of a dark lord's power and I then had to embark on a perilous quest to cast the ring into the flames of Mount Doom. Also she said no.
  • Happycat · 1 year ago
    I got pregnant, unplanned. My boyfriend simply said to me "let's get married" while we were sitting on the couch. I could not tell if he was being serious or not and turns out he was (or so he says). What a great proposal, not even a hug, not even holding my hands while he said "let's get married". Now I don't even want to marry him because he really disappointed me with such a crappy way of asking me to marry him. It hurts me so much.
  • Gregory Smith · 1 year ago
    You have GOT to be kidding me ... where do I begin??? I think I'm gonna barf. This could take a while to explain. Are you even a guy? If so - have you been married before??? WTF??? ha ha

    Love is a cycle. It goes up and down - just like everything in life (like stocks, real estate, etc.) Marriage is the #1 cause of divorce. Be careful - don't overthink things ... and don't rush into marriage - no!!! Just wait until you have been "around the block" a few times ... stuff like what you have written here won't even enter your mind!!! But the innocence I see in your writing is sweet - reminds me of me in my mid-twenties ... ha ha. Good luck to you!!! OMG!!!

    Greg Smith, Founder
    www.midlifebachelor.com
  • Ken · 1 year ago
    Thanks, John Lo, for giving me a good chuckle.

    I took the sneaky approach when I popped the question. My girlfriend had suggested that we go have lunch at a restaurant she liked in a small town along the Missouri River some distance north of the city. I have my private pilot's license, and the town has a small airport, so I suggested that we fly, stuff our bikes in the back of the rented Cessna, and ride the short distance to the restaurant. (yes, two bikes can be crammed in the back of a Cessna 172) She thought that would be a great idea and planned the whole day out. But after lunch along the river I pulled out the ring. She was totally blindsided!

    By the way, she did say yes, and has repeated the story time after time to her girlfriends. My original idea was to propose in the air, but I decided I had enough to think about up there and it would be safer to do it on the ground.
  • Brett McKay · 1 year ago
    @ Gregory- Thanks for comment. However, I think you might actually be a 14 year old girl disguised as a "midlife bachelor." The only people I know who use OMG and excessive amounts of exclamation points in their internet communication are my 14 year old cousin and her little friends.
  • Gregory Smith · 1 year ago
    Brett - at some point in the future, you will know what I am talking about. Good luck to you!
  • Christopher · 1 year ago
    Great article! I've got to suggest a few additions, though, namely "Plan B" and "Improvise." Robert Burns' comment on the planning capabilities of men and mice holds true, even during marriage proposals. Even the best planned proposal can go awry, and men would do well to have a Plan B which is simple enough to be foolproof. By the time I finally completed the deed on the day of my intended proposal to my wife, I was on Plan F, and in my nervousness at repeated failures I had forgotten my eloquent speech. When I finally got the words out, stammered as they were, the ring box stuck inexplicably in my pocket and I forgot to kneel.

    Plan yes! But don't be afraid to improvise if it all falls to shambles.
  • Geetha · 1 year ago
    Marriage, How do I say anything about marriage without any experience?
    ......................
    Nishantha
    Social Media Marketing
  • Lila · 1 year ago
    My husband proposed to me in a variation of the first meeting place proposal. We met in school when we were like eight when our teacher put us together for this treasure/scavenger hunt thing (the grand prize was popsicles).
    I was picking up my niece, who went to the same school we had gone to, and brought Charlie (my now-husband) with me. I went in my niece's classroom while Charlie opted to stay outside, and upon exiting noticed that Charlie was gone.

    I then got a text message clue, which brought me to the classroom we had first met in, and there were flowers outside. I began to get excited.
    I then got another text message clue, which brought me to the cafeteria, and there were chocolates outside. I began to get REALLY excited.
    I got a final clue, which led me to the teacher's lounge. (which was the same room it had been 15 years ago- who knew?) The freezer door was open (just as it had been when we won the scavenger hunt thing 15 years ago), but instead of popsicles, this time the grand prize was a black ring box. I opened it, and it was empty. I began to despair- someone had stolen the ring? and turned around. There was Charlie, holding the ring, on one knee. (can't you tell I've told this story a thousand times to anyone who would listen?)

    Along with a romantic proposal, I believe a ring which suits the recipient and is beautiful is just as important.

    I am an advocate for a sentimental proposal like the one I received- even though it does call for the right circumstances and the right relationship, (if you met at a bar, you can't very well do something like this and produce the same effect, can you?) how can you say no to a proposal that took this much planning?
  • Robert · 1 year ago
    Great post. Now can you write one about how to pick the perfect ring?
  • Sudeshna · 1 year ago
    That was quite of an experience! A man not so sure of what the reactions would be like wen he proposed to his love. So he picked up the phone and asks, "Would you marry me?!" The answer comes, "Yes". The man disconnected the phone. Later on when he was asked why, all that he had to say was,he was prepared with a speech for his lady love's "No" but did not know what to do if she said a "Yes" :-)
  • Kat · 1 year ago
    @Westley Schomer - That was the coolest and romantic thing ever!
  • x-girl · 9 months ago
    for some people yes! marrige is importance but now some they really don't care about that , just stay together and happy that all they want. more importance it's how to stay together forever..
    http://www.thainigirls.com/men.php