In our family, hugs are freely given during the traditional post fasting month celebration greetings.
Amongst good friends though, we follow the scipt of the video quite closely.
Aaron Matthew Kaiser
· 1 year ago
I love the American Man Hug! I've been doing it for years!
Ace Holiday
· 1 year ago
Somebody should photoshop a bed behind McCain and Bush so It'd look like they were cuddling.
yert
· 1 year ago
You understand, of course, that McCain has problems raising his arms higher than his elbow because of the Hanoi Hilton. I am voting for Obama, but your lack of tact debases you.
It's not the arms that make this hug bad, it's the fact that he's sort of nuzzling Bush in the chest.
Chris Cree
· 1 year ago
Not being much of a hugger myself I prefer the "side hug". It's more of a half-hug kind of thing than a full on squeeze.
rdowli
· 1 year ago
What a juvenile post. Are American men REALLY that insecure? Oh wait; I'm an American man, and yes, they are.
Keith
· 1 year ago
Holy crap that video is hilarious! I was laughing out loud the entire time. Great post again Brett! Keep em' coming.
Paul
· 1 year ago
loved the video.......hilarious. My partner has always been hesitant about hugging, no matter whether it is a male or female. Me, being hispanic, am used to and look forward to a hug when I run into old friends/family.
Judith
· 1 year ago
This is hilarious. And the video finally explains why my sons pat me on the back when they hug me--they think I am a man!
Kevin
· 1 year ago
The American Man Hug
"I'm huggin' ya... but I'm hittin' ya."
Tom
· 1 year ago
McCain was tortured in Vietnam, can't raise his arms about his shoulders. And I'm also an Obama voter, not a McCain supporter. Classy blog post, idiot.
Shockjock
· 1 year ago
Never close your eyes when you hug another man. McCain clearly has a hard-on. He looks like W just loved him up real good and he wants to snuggle the night away.
David McMillan
· 1 year ago
Sorry point out one thing. It's 3 slaps on the back.
1- I'm 2- not 3- gay
PS please not I'm not anti-gay. I'm indifferent because it's a non issue.
Brett McKay
· 1 year ago
@Tom-
I already responded to that criticism.I am not making fun of McCain's arms. I am not making fun of his stiffness. I am not sure how not being able to raise one's arms above one's shoulders has anything to do with the fact that McCain is nuzzling Bush's shoulder. Also I have seen McCain raise his arms much higher than this. It's just a really awkward hug, not a man crying out for people to defend his disability.
cbenji
· 1 year ago
the handshake in the north american man hug is done to keep a clearly defined space to prevent peen bumping.
Victor
· 1 year ago
I think 3 pats is key vs any other. I believe it is a non-verbal way of saying "I'm-not-gay."
jonathan
· 1 year ago
I agree about the 3 pats thing. it should also happen relatively quickly and then followed by immediate release.
barlo
· 1 year ago
@Troy and Tom, Also an Obama supporter here. If a man is unable to execute the proper maneuver he should stick to a firm handshake. That said, it's not really about the arm height that makes that such a poor hug. 1) clearly he didn't wait for the right time and took Bush by surprise. 2) No nuzzling. If it becomes clear on approach that the hug will not be properly reciprocated you turn slightly to the left and turn it into a half shoulder hug with a firm pat on the back. Under no circumstance do you close your eyes and smile dreamily.
Just sayin
Doc
· 1 year ago
Right, the 'phobe hug. Because God forbid our chests touching. This is masculinist bullshit. Hug according to your own standards of "propriety," and withhold no affection from anyone who deserves it.
Pat Henry
· 1 year ago
How different we humans are from or best friends, our dogs! They like to be petted by friendly humans and licked by other animals, but they can't wait to escape from an affectionate hug, with or without that manly pat.
The real manly canine greeting, though, is the classical foot-hump. Don't try this at home! ;-)
Ty
· 1 year ago
Isn't this blog slightly homophobic? Being perceived as gay is fine, since half the men out there are innately bisexual. That said, stick to a half hug, or air hug. public affection should be limited in all cases.
Pat Henry
· 1 year ago
There is the Congressional variant in which 3 pats on the back are substituted by 3 taps of the foot, usually followed by a series of really humiliating press conferences.:(
Bob C
· 1 year ago
Great... Now the Aliens know how to hug. We're just asking to be invaded. . . and hugged.
Emmiliscious
· 1 year ago
Now explain why American men leave a seat between themselves at the cinema. This cracks my European husband up to no end.
Dennis Skayhan
· 1 year ago
Is it true that McCain can't raise his arms normally because he was badly beaten as a prisoner of war? If that is true then what are you saying ?
paul Miller
· 1 year ago
in lieu of the man hug you can clam shake - sort of a tweener move
Brett McKay
· 1 year ago
@Dennis-
I've tried to be polite, but are people just not reading??? Please read the editor's note at the bottom of the post to see that your concern has already been addressed.
Cameron Schaefer
· 1 year ago
Brett, I think this could be the start of a series....next up, the controversial pat on the butt....remember, no cupping of the hand and no squeeze, obviously !
-Cameron
carbuzzard
· 1 year ago
Emmiliscious, the reason for the empty space between guys at the theater is so they don't have to share an armrest. Duh. And if can sneak one in, it makes a great place to put your sixpack.
The next question, however, is the hugging and (cheek) kiss of a woman not your wife. What are the rules there? I'm never very sure whether I'm drifting into dirty old manhood.. Not that I'd change, but I'd just like to know...
jessie rhynes
· 1 year ago
may all the hetersexuals see this video, and don't be afraid of us homo's.
Matt
· 1 year ago
the proper of back slaps is actually 3 each one represents a word it is I'm (slap) not (slap) gay(slap)
Sagmag
· 1 year ago
You forgot the ever so subtle separating of the man-junk. Imagine pressing your hands together, and then ever so slightly bowing your knuckles out to create a gap between your palms.
There's a kind of anti-magnetism between the privates of the two parties in a man hug, as if our natural homophobia creates a little bubble around our twig and berries that cannot be breached by another man's crown jewels.
I could go on, but I'm running out of ways to avoid saying "penis".
Jose Narof
· 1 year ago
McCain looks awkward in that photo because the Viet Cong busted up both his shoulders when they tortured him amoung other things. He can't raise his arms much higher than shown in the photo.
Php Shopping Cart Software
· 1 year ago
LOL that last picture is real funny. :)
Lewis Jenner
· 1 year ago
In England we embrace the manly hug (pardon the pun), but I must say that I was once caught out by a kiss from an Argentinian man, and not just one, but two infact, one for each cheek.
I'm sure it's a manly thing to do in Argentina, as it is in contiental Europe, can't say that I understand the mechanics though
Jack
· 1 year ago
Allow me, Brett.
Jose, read the editor's note. It's been said a million times already. He raises his arms to shoulder-height all the time, just not when he's nuzzling the President.
On a side note, I'm tired of McCain's time as a POW excusing every single thing he does. Does it explain his spending the last 20 years being a tool of the party that opposes his? Did he get Stockholm syndrome, and now he has some unconscious desire to turn traitor and sell out the people who elect him at every opportunity?
Oh, for a Presidential candidate who was worth a crap. But stop using his POW time as an excuse. It was 50 years ago. I'm sure he's over it, and if he isn't, then he isn't mentally fit to serve in such a demanding job.
"Mr. McCain, I don't think that this policy is sound. Several countries throughout history have tried it to disastrou-" "I was a POW!" "Oh, yes sir. We'll pass it right away."
A real man would downplay its significance at every chance, and his service record wouldn't be the central theme of a leadership campaign. Go ahead and try to find a Medal of Honor winner who actually brags about his achievements. If you do find one, he'll be the one the other guys don't invite to the reunion.
Bearotic.com
· 1 year ago
LOL A real man hugs any damn way he wants to!
Matt Nelson
· 1 year ago
I'm sorry Brett, but the "Man-hug" is not acceptable unless it's your father or brother.
The Man-hug is a relatively new phenomenon. I'd say the last 20 years. I know your dad and my dad didn't man-hug friends.
It's a little too European. Might as well fake kiss on each cheek. I liken it to crying in public. Brett Farve was little embarrassing last week. Just don't do it.
A firm handshake is all that is needed, possibly gripping the elbow with the free hand.
I would like your input on the Murse or Man-purse. :)
Jack
· 1 year ago
It could be said that the man-hug is a step back into more manly times. Among the chivalrous, embracing your comrade was considered an act of friendship. Read old stories about medieval or Biblical times; the men embraced and even kissed.
Aaron kissed Moses upon first meeting him. Samuel kissed Saul while anointing him king of Israel. David and Jonathan kissed when David was forced to flee the country. (You don't get more maly than David, either.) Paul and Peter repeatedly told their disciples to greet one another with a kiss.
I think the Victorian era is what gave us the handshake-is-the-closest-you-can-get style of greeting. I'm not about to go kiss another guy, but better men than I have been okay with it. So I'll meet them halfway with the man-hug. = )
Tom Howard
· 1 year ago
Americans can get away with the man hug. Here in the "land of the stiff upper lip", only acceptable when sportsmen score...on the field!
kaeh
· 1 year ago
Omigosh! Thank you so much for this post. And the movie It is the best hard laugh I have had in a long time!
Dan
· 1 year ago
1. Both of you face each other. 2. Both raise your right arm high, left arm low. 3. Approach the person on your right side. Aim to clothesline them in the throat. 4. Contact for no more than half a second. 5. Keep eyes open. Don't look like you enjoy it too much. 6. If other person keeps hugging, remember that in this position you have leverage and can force them off.
Hugging a woman, however, should be done with both arms down. It is less threatening and won't knock their front teeth out. Also it has the advantage that you can put your hands on their hips or waist, which is more intimate than the back.
soij
· 1 year ago
Start with an old school 'soul' handshake that interlocks the thumbs. Keep your joined right hands together and elevated to create a barrier between the chests. Maintaining a solid 24 inches of distance toe-to-toe, lean in with your heads well far apart left to right. Make a fist with your left hand and double-pound your hug-mate high up in the center of the back with the side of your fist that has your thumb and index finger making a plane. Make sure your reach around his body to do this. No unnecessary arm brushing and definitely no squeezing with this maneuver. Quickly remove arm, lean back away, and release handshake. That's a popular American protocol.
Don Aldrich
· 1 year ago
I am amused by this posting.Man hugging has never been a issue, I guess that means I am comfortable with my sexuality .I love women!
Anthony
· 1 year ago
Okay, so here's a question: I'm a 21 year old male and my dad gives me a kiss on the cheek when I see him. I see him fairly often. I want to make it clear that I want to move on to the handshake/hug. Do you think I need to say something? Or next time he goes for the cheek kiss should I just go for a handshake and see if he gets it?
Brett McKay
· 1 year ago
@Anthony-
I think I would just try to avoid it and go for the handshake. I think it would be a hard topic to bring up during conversation. "So how about them Lakers? Please stop kissing me when I see you." It will be awkward the first couple of times you deflect the kiss, with he going in and you extending your hand, but I think he'll get the hint.
Although it will probably hurt his feelings a bit. You might consider just resigning yourself to it. Kissing is normal in many cultures. And it's over in a second.
Tom
· 1 year ago
All these guys need now is a little man junk with their man hugs!
nancypants
· 1 year ago
This is a fantastic website and I LOVE reading the comments here.
Tamati
· 1 year ago
Ha ha great article and website that I've just come across. Here down under in New Zealand we have the 'Bro Hug' usually done with mates who are Maori or Polynesian (Samoan, Tongan etc) 1) Start with a 'Bro Shake' - right hands clasped upright like you're about to arm wrestle 2) Lean in so you right shoulders touch (normally while saying "Hey Bro!") Option: If its a good mate and a slap on the back with your left hand. Interesting to see our top sportsman (rugby) congratulating each other with various man hugs, it certainly wasn't the case 20 years ago! Don't think we will pick up the patting each others backsides though...
Ian Bacon
· 1 year ago
Thanks for this article. Useful guide. I am in the two 'slaps on the back' camp, not three. Three looks contrived, indicates that you are trying to be manly by slapping, rather than simply being manly, and slapping.
Roger
· 1 year ago
Guys,
This is the funniest Man Hug video i have ever seen! Seriously, this is just too good!
Bunch of guys in India i think perfected it with some funny take on it!
@Emmiliscious - Because American men are the most insecure with their masculinity, sexuality and identity. We have the Victorians, the "wild wild West" mentality and capitalism to blame for this ridiculousness. They even do this spacing apart bullshit on buses and trains (particularly black and Latino males). I don't get it at all.
Jasmine
· 1 year ago
haha this is the funniest thing ive ever seen! the movie was really good! i didn't know that guys even had that much trouble with hugging! for girls it's really easy and natural
Donald Prins
· 1 year ago
Interesting!
Russell
· 1 year ago
Great video. I find that all the variations mentioned in the comments fall into levels of closeness. Personally, i go with the thumb-grasp and shoulder-bump with most of my friends and reserve the man hug from the video for only the closest friends.
@Dan - the problem with the standard man2woman hug is that some men, myself included, are considerably taller than their female friends, meaning if i try your method, i have to bend way down. I personally go both arms over and sorta hug their shoulders/head. If one of my female friends decides to try for both over the top, they typically have to accept that i will straighten up during the hug, lifting them off the ground. Sometimes i will spin.
Paul
· 12 months ago
I dunno I guess I'm different. I hug my guy friends the same way I hug my female friends- 2 arms, no handshake unless the other guy initiates the handshake. The only difference is that I have to bend to hung my female friends. My take on hugging someone is different I guess. To me, its a sign of affection, respect and appreciation. By insisting upon imposing a personal boundary by keeping your right arm interlocked, to me that comes across as disrespectful. I say that because by insisting upon that boundary, you're minimizing the significance of the emotion you want to convey and your expression of that person's value as a friend/relative all to protect your own self-image. That's just me. I say, if you feel something you shouldn't have to set up a protocol for how to convey that feeling.
Robin
· 9 months ago
Wow, we in the rest of the world never realised we were doing an *American* man hug. Your ethnocentricity truly knows no bounds.
All Comments
In our family, hugs are freely given during the traditional post fasting month celebration greetings.
Amongst good friends though, we follow the scipt of the video quite closely.
Trey
It's not the arms that make this hug bad, it's the fact that he's sort of nuzzling Bush in the chest.
Me, being hispanic, am used to and look forward to a hug when I run into old friends/family.
"I'm huggin' ya... but I'm hittin' ya."
McCain clearly has a hard-on.
He looks like W just loved him up real good and he wants to snuggle the night away.
1- I'm 2- not 3- gay
PS please not I'm not anti-gay. I'm indifferent because it's a non issue.
I already responded to that criticism.I am not making fun of McCain's arms. I am not making fun of his stiffness. I am not sure how not being able to raise one's arms above one's shoulders has anything to do with the fact that McCain is nuzzling Bush's shoulder. Also I have seen McCain raise his arms much higher than this. It's just a really awkward hug, not a man crying out for people to defend his disability.
Also an Obama supporter here.
If a man is unable to execute the proper maneuver he should stick to a firm handshake. That said, it's not really about the arm height that makes that such a poor hug.
1) clearly he didn't wait for the right time and took Bush by surprise.
2) No nuzzling. If it becomes clear on approach that the hug will not be properly reciprocated you turn slightly to the left and turn it into a half shoulder hug with a firm pat on the back. Under no circumstance do you close your eyes and smile dreamily.
Just sayin
The real manly canine greeting, though, is the classical foot-hump. Don't try this at home! ;-)
That said, stick to a half hug, or air hug. public affection should be limited in all cases.
I've tried to be polite, but are people just not reading??? Please read the editor's note at the bottom of the post to see that your concern has already been addressed.
I think this could be the start of a series....next up, the controversial pat on the butt....remember, no cupping of the hand and no squeeze, obviously !
-Cameron
The next question, however, is the hugging and (cheek) kiss of a woman not your wife. What are the rules there? I'm never very sure whether I'm drifting into dirty old manhood.. Not that I'd change, but I'd just like to know...
There's a kind of anti-magnetism between the privates of the two parties in a man hug, as if our natural homophobia creates a little bubble around our twig and berries that cannot be breached by another man's crown jewels.
I could go on, but I'm running out of ways to avoid saying "penis".
I'm sure it's a manly thing to do in Argentina, as it is in contiental Europe, can't say that I understand the mechanics though
Jose, read the editor's note. It's been said a million times already. He raises his arms to shoulder-height all the time, just not when he's nuzzling the President.
On a side note, I'm tired of McCain's time as a POW excusing every single thing he does. Does it explain his spending the last 20 years being a tool of the party that opposes his? Did he get Stockholm syndrome, and now he has some unconscious desire to turn traitor and sell out the people who elect him at every opportunity?
Oh, for a Presidential candidate who was worth a crap. But stop using his POW time as an excuse. It was 50 years ago. I'm sure he's over it, and if he isn't, then he isn't mentally fit to serve in such a demanding job.
"Mr. McCain, I don't think that this policy is sound. Several countries throughout history have tried it to disastrou-"
"I was a POW!"
"Oh, yes sir. We'll pass it right away."
A real man would downplay its significance at every chance, and his service record wouldn't be the central theme of a leadership campaign. Go ahead and try to find a Medal of Honor winner who actually brags about his achievements. If you do find one, he'll be the one the other guys don't invite to the reunion.
The Man-hug is a relatively new phenomenon. I'd say the last 20 years. I know your dad and my dad didn't man-hug friends.
It's a little too European. Might as well fake kiss on each cheek. I liken it to crying in public. Brett Farve was little embarrassing last week. Just don't do it.
A firm handshake is all that is needed, possibly gripping the elbow with the free hand.
I would like your input on the Murse or Man-purse. :)
Aaron kissed Moses upon first meeting him. Samuel kissed Saul while anointing him king of Israel. David and Jonathan kissed when David was forced to flee the country. (You don't get more maly than David, either.) Paul and Peter repeatedly told their disciples to greet one another with a kiss.
I think the Victorian era is what gave us the handshake-is-the-closest-you-can-get style of greeting. I'm not about to go kiss another guy, but better men than I have been okay with it. So I'll meet them halfway with the man-hug. = )
2. Both raise your right arm high, left arm low.
3. Approach the person on your right side. Aim to clothesline them in the throat.
4. Contact for no more than half a second.
5. Keep eyes open. Don't look like you enjoy it too much.
6. If other person keeps hugging, remember that in this position you have leverage and can force them off.
Hugging a woman, however, should be done with both arms down. It is less threatening and won't knock their front teeth out. Also it has the advantage that you can put your hands on their hips or waist, which is more intimate than the back.
I think I would just try to avoid it and go for the handshake. I think it would be a hard topic to bring up during conversation. "So how about them Lakers? Please stop kissing me when I see you." It will be awkward the first couple of times you deflect the kiss, with he going in and you extending your hand, but I think he'll get the hint.
Although it will probably hurt his feelings a bit. You might consider just resigning yourself to it. Kissing is normal in many cultures. And it's over in a second.
1) Start with a 'Bro Shake' - right hands clasped upright like you're about to arm wrestle
2) Lean in so you right shoulders touch (normally while saying "Hey Bro!")
Option: If its a good mate and a slap on the back with your left hand.
Interesting to see our top sportsman (rugby) congratulating each other with various man hugs, it certainly wasn't the case 20 years ago! Don't think we will pick up the patting each others backsides though...
This is the funniest Man Hug video i have ever seen! Seriously, this is just too good!
Bunch of guys in India i think perfected it with some funny take on it!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pound_hug
@Dan - the problem with the standard man2woman hug is that some men, myself included, are considerably taller than their female friends, meaning if i try your method, i have to bend way down. I personally go both arms over and sorta hug their shoulders/head. If one of my female friends decides to try for both over the top, they typically have to accept that i will straighten up during the hug, lifting them off the ground. Sometimes i will spin.