Art of Manliness - Latest Comments in The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

smith — Tue, 25 Dec 2012 19:57:55 -0000

Hugging is all about your joy and happiness you feel when you see/met a person you love, so style is not very important...

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

stephene — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:55:43 -0000

Hugging may be a feminine show of affection, but every man of the 21st century has to know how to do it. Well, unless you want people to think you’re a closet hugger, which is never a good thing. Here’s your complete 7 step guide to finishing a man hug, just the way it was meant to be. http://bit.ly/b129gx. Just thought you guys might like it

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

andee — Wed, 12 May 2010 09:54:56 -0000

good nes man...thanks...Im a 19 year old boy fresh out of high school, and i find it very pleasing that i never actually learned to give a proper man hug but it is the most natural feeling way to do it anyhow. there are only a few friends who sometimes deserve a firmer type of embrace.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Bryan — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 22:13:35 -0000

Excellent post. I have utilized both the American Man Hug and the "European" Man Hug as well as the variation with the interlocked thumbs. The European Man Hug can also lead to an opening into a side-hug for introductions. For example, if I'm seeing a male relative and introducing them to my wife (if they haven't met), I'll start with the hug, then open towards the left and use my left arm to gesture towards my wife, saying something like, "Uncle Joe, I'd like to introduce my wife..." then we release my right arm (and his left arm) as he greets my wife. Man hugging is an important skill, as when one "partner" fails to do it properly there is unneeded awkwardness, however brief.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Chris — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:21:27 -0000

Im a 19 year old boy fresh out of high school, and i find it very pleasing that i never actually learned to give a proper man hug but it is the most natural feeling way to do it anyhow. there are only a few friends who sometimes deserve a firmer type of embrace.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Tim — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 09:09:31 -0000

Why would hugging a man in any fashion make you less manly? You're still male. (and the Ummmm...no is my fave)

When I was a kid, and someone said 'boys don't do (whatever)', I would reply: 'I'm a boy. I do it. Therefore, boys do it.' I haven't changed my view on that...

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Chris — Sun, 24 May 2009 18:46:46 -0000

I think we are thinking waaay to much into this, what is otherwise simply a funny post that describes a lot of guys. But if we are going to take this seriously, it just shows how insecure we have raised our boys to be about their masculinity and how we have come to sexualize suff that shouldn't be that way. Like how kids in school don't take showers anymore (including my generation)--it's seen I guess as this sexual thing or something, and so they just sweat and smell bad the rest of the day (I'm a teacher)

And for the slams on the Victorians, photographic and literary evidence of the period suggest that men often had very close friendships and weren't shy in their displays of affection or somehow afraid of each other's bodies like so many are today. Because society was so gender-segregated (outside of the home), male bonding wasn't an issue--it was how things were done. It wasn't until after WWII that for some reason I still have figure out, that men became more insecure about their masculinity and I guess homophobic and stopped hugging as much, etc.; perhaps the increased talk about homosexuality by then and how Freud turned it from a behavior into an identity is part of the mindset shift in how guys started to relate to one another in public. But it seems like the current younger generation of men (at least where I live) are much more affectionate w/each other than even when I grew up (in the 1980s), and they don't seem to stess out and overthink this stuff as much.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Chrys — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:58:58 -0000

@Russell: HAHAHA! I'm 6'8" so I do that regularly too!

AND: Come on, people, lighten up! These aren't "the Rules". But seriously, though. I don't have an 8 pack. Harley isn't about to recruit me for their next tricked out chrome machine. I'm thin but with a noticeable beer gut (and 6'8", it can be comical). But a man hug feels like a hug from a MAN! And when you hug a woman, you demure in a chivalrous way. And then there's the other aspect: I don't want a man's body pressed against mine. Sorry. BUT, the fact is, if you hug - no matter how you do it, SOMEONE will have something to complain about....... And that goes with the territory. It's like the handshake. Some men pull away and shake their hand with an "ow". Some men grip harder. I enjoy that. You learn a lot from a handshake - and a hug is an extended handshake - it says "look, I don't have a gun tucked in my back belt ready to blast, but I don't have one in my coat pocket either."
Remember, in the olden times - which means history before the modern age of paranoia - a man always carried some kind of weapon. If you were talking to someone and they reached into the inner breast pocket of their coat, you would have a moment. - many policeman still do. When you man hug, you know that the weapon is not ready for surprise slinging (real men wore their weapons out in the open) in a cowardly Judas-like move. Many a great man died due to such betrayals...
I find that I get along more with men that adjust their grip tighter when I grip tight. (But, a gentleman *always* lets go when he notices pain in his shakees eye.)
I did enjoy the "I guess I'm different" comment. I *know* I'm different, and I think a real man can accept the uniqueness of other men. BUT, under all that, we are still MEN. It was, for me, as I said in another comment, nearly instinctual.
(I should state for the record, that the problem these days re:weapons is that we suffer from a preponderance of frightened cowards that pretend to be men soley because they have muscles and hence at least some power.)

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Chrys — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:18:39 -0000

@Russell: HAHAHA! I'm 6'8" so I do that regularly too!

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Chrys — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 11:41:32 -0000

I think the so-called "American Man Hug" is instinctual. I live in India right now and I have a couple of close friends and the AMH is standard greeting procedure! (And I did NOT teach them.) The main difference is that firm handshake begins with a slap (then again, I prefer to hear my handshakes, but it's much louder with friends, not gentlemen you are not yet acquainted with even though my hand is still placed in theirs with a bit of gusto and swagger). Even people I consider friends but not close enough, get the slap to the hand along with the firm handshake. And speaking of handshakes, even when a man has wet or sweaty hands he should still have enough confidence in his greeting to not react with a limp-wristed finger shake. I have no problems wiping my hand on my pants or shirt first just in case. I note that it usually gets an appreciative chuckle...
Anyway, the point is: "American" man-hug is probably a bit nationalistic. Even a two-armed man-hug utilizes the back-slap. It's an essential accoutrement.
OH, and one thing to add, almost every time I have done a man-hug, there has also been a right shoulder bump.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Robin — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 09:27:35 -0000

Wow, we in the rest of the world never realised we were doing an *American* man hug. Your ethnocentricity truly knows no bounds.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Paul — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 03:33:56 -0000

I dunno I guess I'm different. I hug my guy friends the same way I hug my female friends- 2 arms, no handshake unless the other guy initiates the handshake. The only difference is that I have to bend to hung my female friends. My take on hugging someone is different I guess. To me, its a sign of affection, respect and appreciation. By insisting upon imposing a personal boundary by keeping your right arm interlocked, to me that comes across as disrespectful. I say that because by insisting upon that boundary, you're minimizing the significance of the emotion you want to convey and your expression of that person's value as a friend/relative all to protect your own self-image. That's just me. I say, if you feel something you shouldn't have to set up a protocol for how to convey that feeling.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Russell — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 15:29:03 -0000

Great video. I find that all the variations mentioned in the comments fall into levels of closeness. Personally, i go with the thumb-grasp and shoulder-bump with most of my friends and reserve the man hug from the video for only the closest friends.

@Dan - the problem with the standard man2woman hug is that some men, myself included, are considerably taller than their female friends, meaning if i try your method, i have to bend way down. I personally go both arms over and sorta hug their shoulders/head. If one of my female friends decides to try for both over the top, they typically have to accept that i will straighten up during the hug, lifting them off the ground. Sometimes i will spin.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Donald Prins — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 12:33:43 -0000

Interesting!

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Jasmine — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:15:02 -0000

haha this is the funniest thing ive ever seen! the movie was really good! i didn't know that guys even had that much trouble with hugging! for girls it's really easy and natural

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Kevin — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 16:34:47 -0000

@Emmiliscious - Because American men are the most insecure with their masculinity, sexuality and identity. We have the Victorians, the "wild wild West" mentality and capitalism to blame for this ridiculousness. They even do this spacing apart bullshit on buses and trains (particularly black and Latino males). I don't get it at all.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Roger — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 03:21:24 -0000

Guys,

This is the funniest Man Hug video i have ever seen! Seriously, this is just too good!

Bunch of guys in India i think perfected it with some funny take on it!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Ian Bacon — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 14:58:02 -0000

Thanks for this article. Useful guide. I am in the two 'slaps on the back' camp, not three. Three looks contrived, indicates that you are trying to be manly by slapping, rather than simply being manly, and slapping.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Tamati — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:27:39 -0000

Ha ha great article and website that I've just come across. Here down under in New Zealand we have the 'Bro Hug' usually done with mates who are Maori or Polynesian (Samoan, Tongan etc)
1) Start with a 'Bro Shake' - right hands clasped upright like you're about to arm wrestle
2) Lean in so you right shoulders touch (normally while saying "Hey Bro!")
Option: If its a good mate and a slap on the back with your left hand.
Interesting to see our top sportsman (rugby) congratulating each other with various man hugs, it certainly wasn't the case 20 years ago! Don't think we will pick up the patting each others backsides though...

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

nancypants — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:26:10 -0000

This is a fantastic website and I LOVE reading the comments here.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Tom — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 05:38:19 -0000

All these guys need now is a little man junk with their man hugs!

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Brett McKay — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 00:21:47 -0000

@Anthony-

I think I would just try to avoid it and go for the handshake. I think it would be a hard topic to bring up during conversation. "So how about them Lakers? Please stop kissing me when I see you." It will be awkward the first couple of times you deflect the kiss, with he going in and you extending your hand, but I think he'll get the hint.

Although it will probably hurt his feelings a bit. You might consider just resigning yourself to it. Kissing is normal in many cultures. And it's over in a second.

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Anthony — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:12:36 -0000

Okay, so here's a question: I'm a 21 year old male and my dad gives me a kiss on the cheek when I see him. I see him fairly often. I want to make it clear that I want to move on to the handshake/hug. Do you think I need to say something? Or next time he goes for the cheek kiss should I just go for a handshake and see if he gets it?

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

Don Aldrich — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 17:07:14 -0000

I am amused by this posting.Man hugging has never been a issue, I guess that means I am comfortable with my sexuality .I love women!

Re: The Mechanics of the Man Hug

soij — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 22:03:17 -0000

Start with an old school 'soul' handshake that interlocks the thumbs. Keep your joined right hands together and elevated to create a barrier between the chests. Maintaining a solid 24 inches of distance toe-to-toe, lean in with your heads well far apart left to right. Make a fist with your left hand and double-pound your hug-mate high up in the center of the back with the side of your fist that has your thumb and index finger making a plane. Make sure your reach around his body to do this. No unnecessary arm brushing and definitely no squeezing with this maneuver. Quickly remove arm, lean back away, and release handshake. That's a popular American protocol.