DISQUS

James Cassell · 1 year ago

"As an athlete, after the final game/match/event that you will every play in."
the last part should probably be "ever play in"

April · 1 year ago

your movie list should also include The Last of the Mohicans, it gets my husband every time

Shatt · 1 year ago

I don't really see why a frustration-cry is a bad thing. It can be cathartic and help you get your act together to start working on the next step.

Just do it in private.

Julian · 1 year ago

I agree with The Iron Giant and It's a Wonderful Life

It's a Wonderful Life brings me to tears without fail.
You guys should do a post on George Bailey.

Sam · 1 year ago

Remember The Titans get me every time

Alex · 1 year ago

A man should cry whenever he needs to and he should not be curtailed by the thought of what other people will think of him for him doing it. It's an emotional release. You just don't make any excuses for it. You just forget about it. We give too much of a damn what our peers think of us. Can't have any nails standing out-must be sheeple.


We should cry when are paradigms are revealed to have feet of clay. When are illusions are revealed for what they are. There's a lot of that going on right now.

John · 1 year ago

To the OK list, you MUST add:

11. At your daughter's wedding - Any man who does not melt when walking his little girl down the aisle to give her away to another good man has no heart and no soul.

nurturedfutility · 1 year ago

i refute it thus ...

http://arabaquarius.blogspot.com/2008/06/crying...

(hehe, all in good fun)

soo · 1 year ago

Can I add to the list of "When It’s Okay For a Man to Cry" when a girl dumps you, cheats on you, or just breaks your heart. That can be pretty painful and cry worthy. Btw, I really liked this article!

Mike · 1 year ago

What about crying when your favorite sports team wins (tear of joy!)? Last year I was at the last game of the season when the phillies won (and the mets lost to the marlins), clinching the NL east on the last day of the season! I was jumping up and down, and since the phillies hadn't made the playoffs in 14 years, yeah I cried from being so happy.

Will · 1 year ago

As John mentions... everyone (including me) thought it was great when my father-in-law cried escorting my bride to the altar. And when my own father got emotional at the reception.

I would agree (seriously) only really with the limitation of "when others are looking to you to be strong." Expressing emotion is a wonderful gift. I used to be pretty unemotional (on the surface) much of the time; now, a song can have me react.

ScottJ · 1 year ago

While I don't agree with some of the movies on the list, my personal movie that makes me cry is Big Fish. Then again, seeing it shortly after my father passed away may be a factor in that.

R · 1 year ago

Acceptable Movie addition:
ET ;-)

Acceptable Situation addition:
- Getting kicked in the nuts (if you don't cry, you have nothing there)
- Cutting an onion

Robbie Cooper · 1 year ago

Thanks for the links and tip of the hat.

I'm a strong believer that a good cry is all well and good --- so do it privately. I think there are times when being strong, for yourself and those around you, trumps your own need to "let it out".

Sometimes being a man is about more than what "you want."

Andrew Barbour · 1 year ago

Iron Giant! Not enough people understand how great a movie that was. Directed by Brad Bird, people--same guy who directed The Incredibles (although that was not a movie at which crying is permitted).

I'd also like to add Big Fish, the Tim Burton movie with Ewan MacGregor and Albert Finney. Saw that after my dad passed away, and it nearly killed me. Fantastic movie.

I also cried like a little girl in pigtails when I watched my son being born--which is fortunate, because it kept me from passing out.

Yatrik · 1 year ago

Awesome post!!

Dax · 1 year ago

The first movie I ever cried at was 'Of Mice and Men'...

Daniel · 1 year ago

Rocky's speech to the crowd after his victory in "Rocky II" makes me choke up every time. Yeah, the rest of the Rocky enterprise gets pretty ridiculous after that, but seriously: "Most of all I wanna thank God. Except for my kid being born, this is the greatest night in the history of my life. I just wanna say one thing to my wife at home. Yo Adrian, I did it!"
My brothers and I watched these movies about a million times with our dad growing up, and that moment just reinforced some of the values he tried to teach us: hard work, perseverance, and love of family.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-OFCDNa5diQ&feat...

Art Gonzalez · 1 year ago

I would add that is ok to cry in the birth of your children and also when God answers a prayer in a powerful way. You mention that is not ok to cry when watching "The Notebook"...sorry, I did. I think that it´s the only movie I´ve ever done so, along with "Forrest Gump" (almost there).

Many blessings,

Art Gonzalez
Check my Squidoo Lens at: Quantum Knights

Hayden Tompkins · 1 year ago

My ex-boyfriend, who was always very easy going and never got worked up over anything, cried when I tried to break up with him. I say 'tried' because I just couldn't when I saw the depth of his emotion.

It stopped me from making a huge mistake, because we were together for another two years. Dating him made me a better woman and ultimately a better wife.

That was the only time I've ever known him to cry, and we are still very good friends. Granted, that's a situation that depends on the couple involved, but his tears completely unmade me.

Tito Toronto · 1 year ago

Personally, I think the number one rule is that it is Never Okay for a Man to Cry. Therefore, this list should be one of those "exceptions to every rule".

I would have to argue number 1, 1. The death of a loved one. , only because 2. When those around you are looking to you as a source of calmness and strength. is one of the most important things about being a man.

One last tip, IF Men only need to absolutely cry, it should never be a Bitch-Cry, but only a manly, shed-tears, type of cry.

Preston Runquist · 1 year ago

One more movie to add to the list... The Green Mile.... gets me everytime.

30 days · 1 year ago

I hate it when guys get choked up for sentimental reasons when they're drunk. Here's one for temperence - it makes you cry when no sober man would.

John Commoner · 1 year ago

Rudy???? Rudy???? You gotta be shittin' me. Get that off the list, please.

Otherwise, a fabulous guide. Well done.

Wesley · 1 year ago

Add to the list of acceptable movies: Where the Red Fern Grows and Hoosiers. Both get me every time.

bfwebster · 1 year ago

Ditto on the "seeing your daughter get married".

Another movie for the list: "Frequency" -- probably the closest thing to a chick flick for guys (particularly fathers & son). On the other hand, there's several on the list I'd probably drop off.

Dave · 1 year ago

My Life is the only movie after which I bawled like a baby...I think it should be on the list--especially since it's a tribute to manliness--what it means to be a devoted dad and a man--to a kid he doesn't even know yet!

Mark · 1 year ago

Another movie that should be added to the "okay" list:

Armageddon

The end always gets me. You know the part with the patch and the switcheroo. Yeah.

I always tear up while watching any movie that has a 21 gun salute and they play Taps. My Grandfather was in the Korean and Vietnam wars and while he made it home safely, many of his buddies didn't. I always flashback to his funeral when I hear the gunshots and the bugle playing. He's been gone for a little over 10 years now and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I cry every time and I don't care who is around to see it.

-Mark

Chris · 1 year ago

I think that in addition to movies books should be included. One book thats ending always gets me is The Outsiders by S E Hinton

Wrathbone · 1 year ago

There's an interesting point that hasn't really been touched on...

A couple weeks ago I happened to catch an episode of Hell's Kitchen. One of the contestants, a rather portly fellow, must have cried at least three times during the episode. He spent the rest of the time looking like he was about to cry. The sight of his turkey neck waddling as he boohooed through every setback or victory, no matter how minor, was truly sickening. Just tonight while watching Casino on Bravo, they showed some snippets of their reality shows, and it was awash in grown men crying like old ladies.

I think all the aforementioned examples of when it's ok to cry are perfectly acceptable. But I think our society has neutered men to the point where even the slightest notion of emotional turmoil turns some into complete pansies. I think part of being a man is knowing how to hold back tears, especially when there's a camera on you.

Dave · 1 year ago

I'd say the list of movies you can cry in is way to specific. You should be able to tell if it's aparticularly sad movie or not. Also you should be able to cry when reading a sad book.

James · 1 year ago

The movie that always chokes me up is Big Fish, I would add that to the list.

Greg · 1 year ago

I think a distinction needs to be made between out right crying and getting choked up and having a few little tears roll down the cheek.
I did the former when my Grandpa died...publicly and without embarrassment. When my Mother died I hid in a room by myself and cried my eyes out. Then I went into the bathroom, cleaned myself up, and went out and was strong for my sister.
I did the later when I saw my son, daughter, and both my granddaughters for the first time. I will most likely get choked up when I walk my daughter down the aisle and give her away, but I won't cry.
To show emotion is not sissy or soft, it's manly and it shows you care, and caring is a good thing. Emotions should be held in check as much as possible, but sometimes it's just not possible.
Crying at a movie is borderline, but I must admit, I cried while watching some of the movies listed. Reading a good story gets me sometimes, too.
I would say, for the most part, if you're going to cry, do it so as few people possible notice.

Gdub · 1 year ago

Another movie that is okay to cry during is Black Hawk Down.

Brett · 1 year ago

@Hayden-It's interesting-sometimes women find their husband's/boyfriend;s tears really touching, and sometimes women say it makes them really uncomfortable and/or they find it a real turn off.

@30 days-So true. Nothing is worse than the sentimental crying drunk.

@Wrathbone-Good point. I think a point that can be added to the "don't list" is "don't cry so often that people can't take you seriously." Also, the more you cry, the less meaningful your years become. People start thinking, "oh great, so and so is crying again." But if your tears are rare, when you do cry, people know something truly significant has occurred.

@Greg-I tried to make that distinction when I said, "Just as there is a balance between releasing some man tears and turning into the kind of blubbering mess that makes everyone feel uncomfortable."

Brian · 1 year ago

another point in a movie that should be allowed to cry would be in Tears of the Sun, the scene where the guys clear out and find the baby has died and the mother was raped and mutilated and she dies shortly afterward, I tell ya that nails me no matter how many times I see it

Evan · 1 year ago

I bawled like a baby during Schindler's List, and feel no less manly for it.

bugmenot · 1 year ago

Movie additions: Titanic
TV show list: Many episodes of Third Watch ,7th Heaven and Touched by an Angel, some episodes of some CSI show, pilot episode (1+2) of Earth 2 (5 minutes from the end) , series finale of Angel ("would you like me to lie to you now")

Brett · 1 year ago

Touched by an Angel? I hope you're kidding.

NoPantsJim · 1 year ago

Other Acceptable moments:

1. Season 4 finale of House

2. Season 3, episode 14 of Scrubs

3. The Episode of Futurama where Fry thinks he's going to get his dog back.

Kevin (ReturnToManliness) · 1 year ago

Watched Stranger Than Fiction last night again. Cried again. I absolutely feel MORE manly about it.

Think about it. He gave up at the end and succumbed to his destiny. That is the saddest moment in any man's life. When you actually believe you have no control over the outcome of your own life. Then the act of succumbing is what made him help dictate his future.

Priceless and Farrell should have been nominated for SOMETHING for his performance...

bfwebster · 1 year ago

I have a new one.

When you son leaves for war.

I wasn't quite expecting my own reaction, but there you have it. ..bruce..

Liz · 1 year ago

OK, this really made me laugh, almost until I cried. And I kept thinking, "men can cry during 'Brian's Song," and then, finally, there it was. And of course men cry when their pets die -- I know my husband did both times. Believe it or not, a book by a woman who lost her pet
helped him (well, both of us) through it. Tatianna is the cat's name, and the name of the book -- great love story about the bond and unconditional love between owner and beloved pet., and how to cope when the pet dies.

Just might make a man cry again...

Edgar C. · 1 year ago

John on June 20th, 2008 3:53 am

To the OK list, you MUST add:

11. At your daughter’s wedding - Any man who does not melt when walking his little girl down the aisle to give her away to another good man has no heart and no soul.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Total co-sign on that one

K · 1 year ago

I had an ex who cried once when I sang to him and again when we broke up. Both times were very touching and endearing.

On the other hand, I had another ex who cried anytime he thought I was mad at him, and at every little thing that wouldn't even have made me least bit upset. That was definitely a turn-off, not to mention downright annoying.

Alexa Claire · 1 year ago

The real answer: ALWAYS.

I understand that this is a blog geared towards being "manly," and crying isn't considered "manly." But, really, isn't it more manly to be secure with yourself and not worry about what society says is right? Men are human beings, and, as human beings, it is perfectly natural for them to cry. It's a way to express incredibly strong emotions--whether frustration, happiness, loneliness, etc.

My boyfriend never cries and it is the only thing about him that drives me crazy! Your wife/girlfriend/whatever does not need you to be "a rock." Rocks are chunks of earth without minds or hearts or feelings. They just need you to be there for them, whether you're crying or not.

dadshouse · 1 year ago

Great list. I cried when I finished running my first marathon. And as a single dad, I'd add Kramer vs. Kramer to that movie list. Here are some other times for me: http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/04/02/pass-the-kl...

Captdumpling · 1 year ago

Top Gun should be added to the allowed list. It gets me everytime I see Goose die.

Dan · 1 year ago

I second adding Hoosiers to the list. The closing scene chokes me up every time.

Geoff R. Casavant · 1 year ago

I would also add To Kill a Mockingbird to your list of movies, and echo the others who said Forrest Gump needs to be included as well.

Brad · 1 year ago

I'm going to half to agree with this blog 100%. Yes, you could have added some other moments in life where it would be ok to let the man tears flow, but you cannot list them all.

Most people frown upon the man cry where I am from, when it comes to movies or anything other than a death in the family. This reassures me that I am not a lame ass and I'm a man.....that can cry. :)

Thanks guys for another awesome post.

Spacks · 1 year ago

I'm going to be honest here, I think there's more depth here than just "when a loved one dies."

I found out my father was in the hospital and I've found myself pretty choked up about it--direct family member's and dire news tend to have an immense emotional impact on me. Specifically in this case I was unable to contact anyone that could update me for hours--adding to the problem is the fact that I don't live very close to home currently.

Just felt the need to comment since this hit so close to home so recently.

Aaron · 1 year ago

The movie EVERY man should cry upon viewing it: The Passion of the Christ

Granata · 1 year ago

Glad to see Iron Giant on the list. I just recently saw that movie and was really moved by it. I've seen it two times since. I watched it with my two-year-old. It might have been a little intense for her at moments but she could not stop talking about robots for the next week. It was wicked cute.

Randall C. Stufflebeam · 1 year ago

This Topic really hit home for me. I spent 22 and a half years in the Marin Corps and for the first 21 years I pretty much had a steel heart and had my emotions pretty well locked up inside. That all changed when my middle daughter was raped and the trial that we went through. It shattered the wall that I had my emotions hidden behind.

I concur with the suggestion of two movies being added to the list. The first was Armegeddon - what father who has daughters couldn't relate to the see of Bruce Willis having to break his promise to his girl (for a noble reason)? And the second is the "Green Mile." That movie wasn't just a tear jerker, they backed up the tow truck and pulled them out.

Brett McKay · 1 year ago

Thanks for the comment Randall. And I just want to tell you that "Stufflebeam" is an awesome last name.

Nick Simonds · 1 year ago

I'd add The Elephant Man to the movie list. Also, the Futurama episode where Fry's dog waits in front of the his pizza shop for years just to see him again and dies of old age.

Peter · 1 year ago

I will cry when any team from Seattle (Mariners, Sonics, Seahawks) wins a championship. I've been waiting all 28 years of my life. I've been there for Edgar Martinez, Griffey, Largent, Kemp, Payton, the rise and fall of the Kingdome. I'll shed a little tear of humble respect for those guys whenever it happens. It may be a while...

Aaron · 1 year ago

It is also OK to cry when you hear a good song that extols the virtues of faith, family and country.

Examples:
Amazing Grace
Lee Greenwood - God Bless the USA
Rodney Atkins - I've Been Watching You
I'll be Home for Christmas (when you're not home for Christmas)
America the Beautiful (Ray Charles' version)

Randall C. Stufflebeam · 1 year ago

:-) Thanks, Brett!

I would agree with Aaron as well. I can remember the first time I heard the words by Lee Greenwood, "I'd gladly stand up, next to you and defend her still today" and those of us listening, stood up. WOW!! What a moment!

And the song, "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me, has evoked many tears when I contemplate what it is that I will do when I stand before the one who died for me.

Steve · 1 year ago

Derek Redmond. The 1992 Olympics, in Barcelona. Redmond, the British record holder in the 400m, was forced to drop from his event in '88 summer games by injury. But he was back, and had vowed that he would finish this race. By the back stretch, it seemed not only that he would finish, but that he would win the event, and move on to the finals, and possible Olympic gold. With approximately 175 meters left in the race, Derek heard a ripping, popping noise in his leg, and he went down to the track. The race, and his career, ending for Derek in a sickening tear in his hamstring. Derek's father, ducking security guards and sidestepping fans and athletes alike, rushes to the track to his son, who is getting up and waving off the medical personnel. The two limp down the last stretch of track, father and son, and Mr Redmond lets go only to let Derek cross the finish line.

If it wasn't okay to cry watching that, then it never is.

boxer · 1 year ago

I saw my Dad first cry while watching Schindler's List.
And again he cried when we saw I Am Sam - because he's a single dad.

Oz · 1 year ago

Please add Blood Diamond and Armageddon to your movie list.

Blood Diamond
When Solomon is brought to the refugee camp and his wife tells him the rebels took his son.

The speech he gives to his son when he (the son) pulls a gun on him.

The end, at the conference.

Armageddon
President's Speech and world footage montage (a classic, and the soundtrack by Trevor Rabin is excellent)

When the shuttle Independence crashes.

When Max is blown away and they think all hope is lost and Harry (Bruce Willis) tells Houston to prepare the world for bad news.

When Harry switches places with AJ (Ben Affleck). AJ protests, saying that it's his job. Harry calls AJ his son.

Harry's last talk to Grace (Liv Tyler)

When they return to earth and Grace runs toward him.


Whew, glad to that that off my chest...

Charles · 1 year ago

Uh, am I at the right blog? I am horrified at some of the things on the article list and in the user comments that apparently warrant tears. Here is my list (and I don't consider myself to be "supermanly". My grandfather would probably limit this list to number 1):

1. Death of a loved one (close, not your distant cousin that you didn't like anyway)

2. Death of pet (ONLY if it is a dog)

3. Birth of children

4. Movies with father/son or sports themes, maybe dog themes if you really love dogs (Rudy, Field of Dreams, and Old Yeller are examples. However, this should be done in private, not in front of your wife/girlfriend)

Crying at the alter or as your propose? That is horrible. That is what the woman is supposed to do! What if you start blubbering like a fool and she just stands there and is excited? You look like a loser.

Johnny Sunshine · 1 year ago

No man should ever cry during a movie - no way, no how.

Darryl · 1 year ago

Great list. There's a whole lot of movies that should be on this list. I remember my brother getting choked up and all misty eyed when we watched "Of mice and Men" (yes it was based on the book)that starred Gary Sinise. "Tell me 'bout the rabbits George!" gets him every time!

Johan · 1 year ago

Another movie in my opinion that should be added is Terminator 2. I remember shedding my first tears when the Terminator killed himself at the end.

JD · 1 year ago

You might not think you would ever tear up at an Adam Sandler movie, but "Click" sure did it to me.
Chuck Wicks Song Stealing Cinderella. My daughters only 3ys old but it sure makes you realize they will not be kids forever.

Kyle M. · 1 year ago

Another movie that's gotta be added is "Blow" when Johnny Depp will never see his Dad again because he's going to spend the rest of his life in jail, and he leaves a recording for him and it goes back and forth between Johnny Depp saying the recording and his dad listening to it...Then right after is the scene where Depp imagined that his daughter came to visit him in jail... Two scenes in a row that made me cry my eyes out

jar0n · 1 year ago

@Steve

Your little story of Derek Redmond got me right there..

--

truthfully, there really usnt a hard and fast rule on what is acceptable to cry too.. each person has his triggers.. though i do agree with with most of the acceptables listed..

Eaglecoach · 1 year ago

My Life definitely should be on the list. When his father is shaving him, I cried like a baby. Heartwrenching moment. As a history buff, I can't watch Schindler's List without tearing up at the end.

omar · 1 year ago

@soo -
i am so with you bro they should have added that one to the list when a girl of course a girl u really loved and been through a lot together dumps you or stuff like that i tell you that because i am one of theme...... =(

Courtney · 1 year ago

@Alexa Claire -

I agree. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he neither cried nor ever got jazzed up about anything. Interacting with him was like poking roadkill with a stick and expecting it to do something. On paper he was a "good" guy, but in real life he was like a robot...what's the point of even being in a relationship if you can't share your joys and miseries with someone? You might as well just be single!

So guys, please. Try to strike a good balance. Enthusiasm is sexy, too.

Erik · 1 year ago

I cried when I read about the trial and death of Socrates as related by Plato.
Socrates met his end in a very manly way. His last words to his friend was
to offer a "cock" to be sacrificed to the god of healing. His "disease" was
cured only by death.

One movie I cried at was "Untamed Heart (1993)" when the guy with the bad heart died. I remember because it happens toward the end of the movie. Directors didn't give enough time to gain control and composed oneself before the hall lights come on. Felt embarrased as hell. I wasn't alone in the crowd.



along with others in the audience

Brett Chapman · 1 year ago

I have another two movies that get me every time...

Mr Holland's Opus - where they play his music for him.

and this one I am embarassed about...

Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith. I cannot get through the Order 66 scenes without tears on my cheeks.. For someone who grew up with Jedi's and also having read all the comics, all the books related, to see them butchered by their own... Stupid bloody movies... One day I will get past that bit...

kasper · 12 months ago

Hmmm... I honestly do my best in striving for manliness, I really do, I shave with a vintage safety razor, have an old-school haircut, advocate the use of pen-knives to eat apples and open envelopes etc... But lately I do find myself getting a bit blubbery and teary-eyed in more movies than I'd like-

Firstly- and I defy anyone not to not only cry big man-tears for the whole last part of the film, but also to be in a bit of a funk for a good few days afterwards, and get choked up at the thought of it- Grave of the Fireflies. This one should definitely be added to your list. It's a Japanese animation from Studio Ghibli who brought you the likes of Spirited Away, but it's not at all fantastical. It's just about a boy and his little sister in Japan in WWII and it is too sad to think about. Apparently they play it once a year in Japan on national crying day.

Rather less excusable is crying, as I did, at the end of the recent Peter Jackson version of King Kong, just at the injustice of it all... That poor ape was an innocent I tell you...

John · 11 months ago

I have recently been very disappointed in the apparent trend of male (especially high school/college) athletes crying when they lose. I'm not talking about a discreet tear or two, either. I have even seen almost entire teams blubbering like schoolgirls over their misfortune. Buck up, guys! Grow a set! Who taught them that this is acceptable? Is this a result of the lack of REAL men raising boys today? They've been told way too much that they DESERVE to win. I got news for you. You only deserve to win if you're better than your opponent. My daughters cry less on the field. Shameful...

John R · 11 months ago

Forest Gump: When he is talking to Jennie at her grave site gets me every time.
I am a crier. I have lost loved ones; have been hurt so many times and in so many ways in my 42 years of Life. My very Best Friend, Jesus Christ has comforted me through it all. He has also wept with me and for me. There is a Bible Scripture that plainly tells us to " rejoice with those who are rejoicing and weep those who are weeping." Romans 12:15
If you need to cry....cry; but remember not to purposely make others cry.
If your crying keeps you from performing in a life and death situation...save it for later. You can do this!
If someone is depending on you to be strong...then be strong. Cry later.

Ross Buchanan · 11 months ago

I reckon One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest should be on your film list - damn good show always sad

Eric Ebacher · 11 months ago

Of course, it's okay for a man to cry; there are certain times where it is okay, such as when he loses his wife/girlfriend or a child(ren), or when he goes to see certain tearjerker movies; one such example of anything making me cry happened when I was about 17 years old; one Sunday, I was sitting in church with my grandmother, and the preacher at her church asked if anyone wanted to give their life to or back to the Lord. I raised my hand, and as I did, a tear ran down my face, because I had never truly taken God or His word seriously up until that point in my life. About a year later, I was sitting in a movie theater in my home town with a group of kids I was going to school with at that time, and during the last 30-35 minutes or more of the film, which was appropriately titled "A Walk to Remember", I actually began to feel tears roll down my face, because this film was actually so good and extremely heartwarming. In fact, that night when I got home, I could still feel tears running down my face, though not as much or as hard as during the film or on the way home after the movie was over. So, definitely, yes, there are times when it is okay for a man to cry.